The secret to success

Quicksearch

Blog Administration

RSS Readers

Wednesday, May 5. 2010

Want to get serious about trying to achieve some of your goals and dreams? Be the one who doesn't eat the marshmallow. h/t, reader:

Posted by Bird Dog in The Culture, "Culture," Pop Culture and Recreation at 15:30 | Comments (16) | Trackbacks (0)

Trackbacks

Trackback specific URI for this entry

PingBack

Weblog: proteinwisdom.com
Tracked: Dec 30, 12:01

Comments

Display comments as (Linear | Threaded)

That's all very nice but this idea that "success" is measured by "getting good grades at the university" is really very adolescent. Maybe it's why they call DC the ultimate college town.

The lesson about delayed gratification is something else entirely.

There are lots of very "publicly" successful people who did not get good grades at the university -- Mark Steyn, Rush Limbaugh, Bill Gates, etc. Many "artists" -- opera singers, painters, musicians, actors/actresses -- do not have alot of formal education, yet make alot of money and are "successful" if success means making alot of money.

Many emtrepreneurs and small business people would define success as being their own boss, whether they make alot of money or not.

#1 D on 2010-05-05 15:49 (Reply)

I think they just used school as an index of achievement, not as a life goal.

#1.1 Bird Dog on 2010-05-05 16:25 (Reply)

Okay. Then I'll just say I think motivational speakers are silly, which is what I should have said the first time, I guess.

#1.1.1 D on 2010-05-05 17:12 (Reply)

who defines success? the individual or the culture at large?

What may mean success to one person could be defined as failure to another.

#2 Kevin on 2010-05-05 17:51 (Reply)

The individual, of course.

#2.1 Bird Dog on 2010-05-05 18:34 (Reply)

If you read blogs such as this one, and are motivated to gather your thoughts and write them into the comments section, then you care about others and feel that you're good enough to have a thought worth sharing. Meaning you've already covered a lot of ground in life, ground that need not have been covered at all, ever.

#2.2 buddy larsen on 2010-05-05 21:04 (Reply)

very well said but what of the individual who has found his idea of success on his own terms yet has the greatest of difficulty of in feeling he fits in the greater culture?

#2.2.1 Kevin on 2010-05-05 21:11 (Reply)

i'd say that person has accepted --or has found no way to decline --the burdensome gift of knowing the tragic nature of life.

#2.2.1.1 buddy larsen on 2010-05-05 21:25 (Reply)

Thanks Buddy.
You have given me much to ponder.

#2.2.1.1.1 Kevin on 2010-05-05 22:00 (Reply)

I wanted to sit down and watch this now but decided it would be better if I waited for about two hours......

I wondered as I was watching this how much of the response was delayed gratification and how much was an obedient child who picked up on the expectation and reward for obedience. In a good home the carrot and the stick are used appropriately. So a child in a less stable environment might not understand or be motivated in this way. I believe what you were seeing was a reflection of good parenting and not some internal marker in the child's personality.

#3 Brian in Idaho on 2010-05-05 21:50 (Reply)

LIghten up, dear friends. The heart of this talk is whether the kids had learned to trust - at home. No trust? Eat it now, because it won't be offered again. A lot of 'success' however defined depends on functioning as a part of acommunity, and if you learned as a child that you cannot trust your community, you'll really be alone. Loners can be successes too, maybe one in 100,000. I guess it's just a lot easier for team players who learned to trust.

Bottom line? What each child did was what it was taught by the rules of conduct at home. Dr Joy Bliss - does this approach make any sense?

#4 Gwynne on 2010-05-05 21:56 (Reply)

Gwynne,

I did not intend to sidetrack the original topic but success is something that is so very subjective.

Your comment regarding trust is quite profound....and when a person's sense of trust is shattered by the culture why would that person want to be a successful as defined by the culture?

Just looking for answers to things that run through my complicated thinking process.

#4.1 Kevin on 2010-05-05 22:08 (Reply)

I call BS. What is the measure of success? Some becoming successful implies that others fail. What is the measure of failure? Did the marshmellow eaters become hobos and the non-eaters become derivitave traders at Goldman Sachs?

Is a plumber making $25/hr "successful"? Are they talking about academic achievement?

Discipline isn't the issue - discipline can be taught and encouraged regardless if the marshmellow is eaten or not.

I would also add that our entire economy is built on "now" rather than "later" and that applies to finance as well as car mechanics.

#5 Tom Francis on 2010-05-05 22:26 (Reply)

"Rosebud"

--after the fabulously wealthy and miserably unhappy destroyer of his own loved ones finally died, the world tried to define the undefinable: his last word, "rosebud".

What did it mean? What deep message did it hold for mankind?

Well actually it was just his toy sled from childhood --the only time he had ever been happy, the only time he had ever been truly loved.

#6 buddy larsen on 2010-05-05 22:51 (Reply)

The original experiment involved informal followup by the researcher, who originally tested the children of his colleagues at the university.

Whether this was later formalized, I don't know.

It goes by quickly in this presentation, but the definition of "success" that was used included social adjustment, and general satisfaction/optimism.

And yes, academic achievement DOES give a rough indication of ability to work towards long-term goals. At least the initial test group were all children of academics, so native aptitude was assumed to be less of a factor.

#7 Ben-David on 2010-05-07 09:39 (Reply)

This kind of study really brings out the old ant-grasshopper conflict, doesn't it? We all seem so afraid that if we defer any gratification at all, we'll miss out or become false to ourselves, as if a transitory desire were all there was to "self." Maybe the trick is that being true to ourselves is not incompatible with having an inner core of will that's not simply blown here and there by every passing desire. In other words, knowing that some desire is better than others. Just knowing that you can control yourself can be more gratifying than gobbling whatever is present at any moment, especially if the immediate gratification forecloses a greater future gratification. Eat less now, feet hurt less later. Or even: control your appetite now, feel like more of an autonomous adult right now.

#8 Texan99 on 2010-05-07 09:50 (Reply)

Add Comment

Name
Email	(Your e-mail will not show in your comment)
Homepage
In reply to
Comment	By commenting on this site you agree to the site rules listed here. Email addresses will not be displayed and will only be used for email notifications. Quick reference guide: [i] italics [/i], [b] bold [/b], [u] underline [/u], [url] (web address) [/url]. More tips here. Enclosing asterisks marks text as bold (word), underscore are made via _word_. E-Mail addresses will not be displayed and will only be used for E-Mail notifications. To prevent automated Bots from commentspamming, please enter the string you see in the image below in the appropriate input box. Your comment will only be submitted if the strings match. Please ensure that your browser supports and accepts cookies, or your comment cannot be verified correctly. Enter the string from the spam-prevention image above: BBCode format allowed
	Remember Information? Subscribe to this entry

Maggie's Farm

Our Recent Essays Behind the Front Page

Categories

Quicksearch

Links

Blog Administration

RSS Readers

Wednesday, May 5. 2010

The secret to success