Rescuing types, and loyal, good-hearted - if somewhat tolerant and often obsessional Boy Scout types of guys are often attracted to Borderline and Narcissistic women. These gals are often sexy, smart, exciting and romantic, and will idealize a fellow - until they don't anymore. That's when the s hits the f, and their hero begins to look like either a monster or a poisonous worm to them.
They split, project, and externalize in order to maintain some sort of acceptable and coherent sense of themselves. Broken and destructive people with lots of anger, through no fault of their own. Bad genes, bad life, bad luck, or whatever.
From Dr. Helen's post, her excellent interview with the author of Walking on Eggshells: Advice on how to cope with the Borderline in your life.
One of the most common consultations I see with men is about marriages with women with significant personality disorders. My usual first impulse is to say "Save yourself." My second is to want them to not take any sh-t from them. Then things get more complicated - especially when there are young kids.
My general advice to young men: Feel free to date them, but do not marry a Borderline or pathologically Narcissistic woman, unless you plan on its being only a temporary connection, because they will crush you and your spirit (unless they get good help - and learn to love instead of to idealize and split, destroy, and hate. It is tough, though, for anybody to acknowledge their grievous flaws).
Thanks to Dr. H for this good and useful (I will use it) video.
Borderline men are a whole different topic, which I will not get into now.
