We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Psychoanalysis has known for 100 years that our conscious minds aren't in charge most of the time, and writers and grandmothers have known it forever. Indeed, we humans flatter ourselves when we imagine that they are.
...the MIT group has identified a handful of common social signals that predict the outcomes of sales pitches, the success of bluffing in poker, even subjective judgements of trust. These signals include the `activity level', effectively the fraction of time the person speaks; their `engagement' or how much a person drives the conversation; and `mirroring', which occurs when one participant subconsciously copies another's prosody and gesture. ...
Humans lived in social groups long before language evolved, and the language function presumably exists on top of a more archaic brain system for non-linguistic social signalling. ... Apes, chimpanzees and other primates - our close evolutionary cousins - lack anything like our facility for language, yet still lead sophisticated social lives through displays of power, meaningful noises and facial expressions.
The post correctly concludes:
Our conscious minds are more PR folks than CEOs of our total minds. We are much better at explaining than predicting ourselves. So the first step to wisdom is to realize how little we know about why we do what we do, or why we think what we think.
I read that long thing, too, Jephnol. Did it give you the creeps or what? I bought a car a while ago and did much of the work over the Internet. Each time I thought I'd sealed the deal, I was forced to actually speak to a salesman who insisted I come up and test drive the car. So much for all my Internet work. I said I'll come up if you have the car washed, gassed-up, with the keys in the ignition, and all paperwork ready to sign outside. No deal.
Most grandmothers have spent (way too) many hours in the trenches, Richard. They learn to cull the Drama Kings/Queens fron the rest of the pack, listen beyond the obvious, identify a true crisis and, by the time they attain grandmotherhood, stand up for the greater good. I don't think most families would survive without at least one such mentor as a counsel. If you don't have one, adopt one. Both of mine died many years ago, so I just keep finding two more...and they are worth every second I get to share with them.
Well if were going by empirical data...One of mine died when I (the oldest) was 2. The other was out of the picture due to disinterest which bled into Alzheimers starting when I was about 4 or 5. My sister didn't come along until I was 7 so grandmothers were totally out of the picture for her. Then we moved away from family. Effectively, no grandmas, yet we turned out OK. Of course, at least one of us has a nearly insatiable contempt for the shrink profession...though from what I understand at least one of my grandma's probably would have agreed with that.
A buddy of mine just lost an argument with his daughter's grandma. She wanted to buy granddaughter a tattoo for Christmas...after all, it was what the just-turned-18-year-old wanted. And Caylee Anthony's grandma's a real winner...
Chortle. Why does your sister have such contempt for shrinks, KRW? I've noticed your intense and sincere interest here, so I know it's not you.
I'm not sure about the 'Grandma Effect'. Two generations away from 'what's happenin'' does not make for effective understanding of the younger generation. For big picture 'drama', and I like JMA's words, they are full of wisdom of the human condition. But the little things that progress sprinkles in our youngsters' paths sometimes simply make no sense to 'Grandma'. I knew only my paternal grandmother, and she was of an era I don't understand but have a slight envy for in that sense of the aristocratic south. I only spoke with her briefly when I was in college, and we didn't have much to say to one another. It was sad in a way because she was a genuine lady whose upbringing got her through everything in life. No need for shrinks when your blue blood guides your every move. I think that's part of my envy - that wisdom comes from hardships endured by doing the right thing at all costs. I have a little/a lot of that myself, but I'm a wimp compared to her. I imbibed that wisdom, by the way. She would never think to dispense it. That is not what a lady does.
"at least one of my grandma's probably would have agreed with that."
There's no apostrophe there, dummy. You are neither using the possessive nor the "grandma is" contraction. Sheesh, where did you go to school? And elsewhere you misspelled "stuttering" as "studdering". OK, the latter was excusable since that's the way it probably should be spelled 'cause it's more onomatopoeic, but the former? After your your/you're/there/their/they're rant?...oh, let it go...