Maggie's Farm

Great stuff --but what is a "compentent"? A tent for compens to sleep in?

conflicted --probably that Nicean Creed again.

Finally! Someone besides Jimmy Carter admits lust! Jeez, jephnol, now you can give away a few embassies, the Panama Canal, help jihadi & communist takeovers of global oil supplies, entertain an uber-disgusto skin-lesioned crack headed lard ass "film-maker" (film --on his teeth?) at the party convention, build a few shacks for the cameras which will be elsewhere next day when the roof falls in on the single mother and her 4 children under 3, totally wreck the power & dignity of our culture & nation, and then finish up traipsing around world capitals calling Bush "duh worstis prezdent we dun evah had in ar whole histree".

that phrase has always bothered me --let me see if i can state it without soundig krazy. The battleground of the soul is everywhere, right? Embedded in language but of course, why wouldn't it be? "Nobody is perfect" sounds very humane, says 'judge not'. but a 'judge not' orld is full of misery --look around and see where license leads the vulnerable. Couldn't we do with a renewal of shame & shunning?

And another thing about that phrase --it refers to a being named "nobody" --and says that he "is perfect". Who is this creature who has insinuated himself into our language of mercy, under a title of negation? It's all pretty creepy when you think about it. OTOH, i could just be nuts.

agree --the whole MF directorship seems to be --via ever quirkier observation writ ever more economically --mounting with elan a midwinter march on malign 4th wall meretricious muse parsiflage.

Cliche fave: Norm @ Cheers: "Women. Can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em." That coulda been Cliff but i think it was Norm.

Norm, you know, along with someone named Max, invented the hi/lo settings on Ford's a/c dashboard controls.

gay civil rights att'y: A boy named "sue!"

naw, she said six not sex. be keerful or you 2 will hafta promise the sheriff you will git yoreself a hear'n aid.

whut happent wuz, someone said "Name them 6 chihuahuas monday thru saturday so yew can recallem easay"

so i did-and all six is named that, whuch i breviate and say as "mon dash sat".

so later thar i wuz walken 'em in the park when up comes this passable if a mite skinny gal name of Mary who commences askin "whut is this chihuahuas name" and "whut is that chihuahuas name" and so on n so forth, and each time i sez back to her "mon dash sat", and on and on 6 times, "mon dash sat".

well turns out she couldnt bleave all 6 hed the same name (i lernt this later an to my roo full shame) so she come to figger thet i wuz hurtin & in payne & wuz a sayin' overen over "Monday i shat, monday i shat, Monday I Shat" over and over.

well since Monday at thet time wuz nearbouts a week gorn, she sed:

"Poor dear, Ex Lax is very good and it works, too...frees you gentle!"

which i heerd over all them mon dash sat's yippen n abarkin' as

"Poke here, sex relaxes Mary good and I want to...seize your genitals!"

so i went to yodelin & whistlin & shuckin off muh hat & boots & britches and damn if she dint holler, whip out her cellphone, climb a oak tree & call the sheriff!

but i didn't notice at the time & so when he drove up a minit laiter hit were just aboot when--due to she was swotten me with a purty durn stout oak branch ever time i got in range up in that oak tree --i had begun to reelize thet ther muss tave been a glitch somewhar in the prire discoarse.

anyhoo, long & short, i hed to swar out a writn promise to git me a hear'n aid afore thay'd let me out the hoos gow.

so the morl of the story is be ware of strange chantroosis purty of laig and mush of mouf whom you caint heer good when they ax aftre sumthin --i'd say partikulerly proseed caushus if you have 6 chihuahuas but thet may be to put on it too fine a pernt fer the nonce --thar is of coarse evr reezn to be Bold When Ardent but thet is to be forevre & alwayz the case onliest IF you ar NOT embairst and i do mean severe embairst by say forex ample lookin down to see a good size passel of yore pairnts & grampairnts congregationulists & naybers formd up rankin file and a cheerin like as if a high steaks hoss race & showin i caint gainsay no small glee at thet gal Mary & her cussed oaken stave a hollern an a clobbern wile you block & parry as best you kin whilst starin wistfully tward yor britches on thet yonder stump so proudly innersent of scandal & so elloquent of thay masters intensions thet thay might as well be not a pair of britches but a pair of Mississippi Riverboat Paddlewheel Steemers with the New York & the Philedelphy Fillermonic Orkesters arrayd acrost the Poop Decks en tandum playin the Triumpfill Crash Endo Finali of the Tchaikovski 1812 Overture while a vasty pod of pink & green Belugas breech & blow with the cRasHiNg sYmBoLS and boOMINg caNNoN

haw --what you just wrote, THAT was writin'. anyway we know who to blame --it was meta --inciting to riot, making us clog like laurel & hardy following Ginger Rogers, punk'd-out performers in her midnight garden of the dennis deconcinis.

"...'bout as near perfick as 1 kin git"

As 1 what kin git?
:-)