Maggie's Farm

I get the willies in Wal-Mart because of the high ceilings and huge space, but they're great. You go in for three items and come out with twenty items you didn't know you couldn't live without. I like the greeters the best. I just think that little bit of humanity when you first walk in is just terrific, and I always chat with them. Another great thing is the workers are trained to be polite, and if you ask one where something is, they stop what they're doing and walk you right to the item.... a block away... and they'll be all happy for you. Makes me feel like a dog, so I don't ask if I can help it. And I like their lingerie department because it has good stuff and really tacky, trashy, sleazy stuff that you can hardly wait to put on for your lover. :) Complete seduction outfit: $3.99. You hide that under the Miracle-Gro from the lawn department and look away at check-out as if you have no idea whose buggy they're ringing up.
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Forgot to add: Wal-Mart hires handicapped people. That blows me away. The girl who handles the dressing room area in our Wal-Mart has no legs. She sits in her wheelchair and takes care of business. She's been there at least eight years. One guy I asked for help one time cheerfully lead me to what I wanted and when I thanked him, he tried to talk but it was obvious he couldn't. He was mentally handicapped, as well. But he knew the store and he knew his job. Good stuff if you ask me.

I can't stand a haughty salesperson. I went into a Garfinkels once with a girlfriend and we stopped at a jewelry kiosk just inside the store. The woman behind the counter was beautifully dressed, and she was curt to my friend when she asked to see a piece of jewelry in the case. My friend asked a few questions and the woman turned arrogant as hell and it made me really mad. I guess our casual dress meant we had no money or something, but after another curt response to my friend, I said, "Lady, if you had the right to be so arrogant, you'd be on this side of the counter." I hate that. Like snooty maitre d's. Who has use for those snots? I want to clip a clothes pin on their pointy snouts.
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