Maggie's Farm

We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.

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Saturday, October 11. 2008

Psychosis goes mainstream

In Switzerland, it's about Plant Dignity. But I think psychosis has been going mainstream for quite a while, mainly because psychotics are noisier than the rest of us.

Fortunately, I use a compassionate and humane chainsaw when I murder and dismember innocent trees. 

The Stihl Farm Boss is the Official Maggie's Farm Humane Chainsaw. It is so good that the plants don't feel anything.

Posted by The Barrister in Hot News & Misc. Short Subjects, Our Essays at 14:04 | Comments (15) | Trackbacks (0)

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Well, Barrister, if one denies the existence, let alone the importance of God, worship of plants is the next backward step towards primitivism. Not that I don't adore plants [orchids, primarily] myself, but I don't confuse them with my Creator. Instead, I know in my heart that they are the blessing of a compassionate Creator on his troubled humans. And they are indeed glorious. But sometimes they need pruning, with a compassionate and efficient chainsaw. Especially after hurricanes.

Glad to see we agree.

Marianne
#1 Marianne Matthews on 2008-10-11 14:38 (Reply)
Sigh. If you guys had been paying attention you could have had this last week and scooped the Wall Street Journal.

http://americandigest.org/mt-archives/tinfoil_brigade/and_the_ig_nobe.php

I do and I do.... and this is the thanks I get!
#2 vanderleun on 2008-10-11 14:42 (Reply)
We watch you. How did we miss that?
#2.1 Bird Dog on 2008-10-11 16:05 (Reply)
A carrot and a tomato were in a horrible car accident. The tomato was killed instantly, and the carrot is a vegetable for life.
#3 Ron Hardin (Link) on 2008-10-11 15:55 (Reply)
Would engineering a cold and drought resistant sugar cane be a violation of biofuel ethics?
#4 commander clopfelter (Link) on 2008-10-11 16:47 (Reply)
Plus, I’ve taken out 1/3 of the trees in my crowded little forest over 10 years, which certainly hurt their feelings. But the growth of the remaining 2/3 has accelerated (based on girth and height measurements) so they are much happier now. The giant firs alone are EACH putting on 750 pounds a year, a proud fact which more than compensates for the sizes of my truck, dog and johnson put together. Now that’s plant dignity for you.
#5 commander clopfelter (Link) on 2008-10-11 19:33 (Reply)
What is the first principle of biofuel ethics, CC? No burning? Second principle: Sprinkle the ashes? Up in smoke? :)

I have a Husky Varna, no animist he, who comes and saws the trees in my yard that give up their dignity to the wind sluts. And the almost-tornado bastards. The weather is a bitch for the wood. Cry me a river.
`
#6 Meta on 2008-10-11 19:47 (Reply)
I like to mow the lawn. Oh, the humanity...
#7 Jephnol (Link) on 2008-10-11 21:03 (Reply)
Um.. thou shalt not create a food price panic? America's the Brazil of ethanol.. or something. But our corn is only a fraction as efficient as their sugar cane.

I did have a guy I worked with, who, after I'd gained his confidence, quietly told me that he wanted to share something really important with me. He pulled out a brochure. I thought: ‘Great, Amway.. or Watchtower stuff’. But it was titled: “How Hemp Can Save The World.” He was a closet biofuel nut, as well as stoner.
#8 commander clopfelter (Link) on 2008-10-11 21:44 (Reply)
Dear Clopfelter,

I was quite sure your friend was going to pull out his johnson. Now hemp is to my inner-dominatrix what the weed is to its personal inner-masochist. Why grow but for the pleasure of man to pull and inhale. Ahhh... we bow to hemp for keeping panic in abeyance and laughter in our hearts. Oh. And ships tied to the docks.

And you may kiss my kernels.
`
#9 Meso-American Corn Goddess on 2008-10-11 22:36 (Reply)
Pull and inhale... sounds like a universal cycle of life.
#9.1 Luther McLeod on 2008-10-11 22:44 (Reply)
I went out to shoot Friday afternoon and noticed my portable carport that serves as my shooting shed seemed to be off it's moorings. It seems a small pine had come down Thursday nite in the storm we had and had fallen on one corner. Luckily I had tied the thing down to protect it when Fay blew thru, so it didn't move it much. Out came the McCulloch and half hour later it was mostly firewood. Never lets me down that McCulloch.
#10 JimK on 2008-10-11 22:51 (Reply)
I was most partial to my Stihl 034. Best saw I ever owned. Haven't had to cut any significant amount of firewood in the last 10 years, but here's hoping we can move someplace farm-y in the next 5 years and I'll have to go shopping for one. It's deeply satisfying to be ankle-deep in red oak chips.
#11 Al Maviva on 2008-10-12 01:04 (Reply)
I am from Switzerland, Canton de Vaud, have lived in the US for about 20 years now.

Sorry about this. Unfortunately, this sort of thing is going on all over.
#12 Hohenheim on 2008-10-12 02:36 (Reply)
Euroland is loony.
#12.1 BD on 2008-10-12 07:13 (Reply)

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