Maggie's FarmWe are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for. |
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Thursday, November 30. 2006The Long-awaited Bovine Final ExamI know you all have been waiting eagerly. We have promised this exam for many months, but today is a good day for it. All beasts have been featured on Maggie's Farm. Multiple choice! Answers on continuation page, for you slackers. Here it is: 1. The animal below is a: Holstein, Texas Longhorn, Auroch, Swiss Angus 2. The beast below is a: Shetland Shorthorn, Bison, Yak, Musk Ox
3. The animal below is a: Jersey, Guernsey, Brown Swiss, Shorthorn
4. The animals below are: Black Angus, Holstein, Jersey, Auroch
5. The beast below is a: Holstein, Hereford, Shetland Pony, Gateway Logo
6. The critter below is a: Big MF, Brown Swiss, Shorthorn, Polled Hereford
7. The creature below is a: Holstein, Mottled Swiss, Guernsey, Holstein 8. The nasty creature below is a: Cow, Cat, Goat, Bird
9. The giant beast below is a: Longhorn, Shorthorn, Spanish, Hereford Bull
10. The milker below is a: Dark and Stormy, Brown Swiss, Shetland Shorthorn, Limousin
11. The happy animals below are: Black Angus, Brown Swiss, Polled Herefords, Brown Swiss
12. This gentle and friendly animal is a: Water Buffalo, European Bison, Cape Buffalo, Yak
13. A hard one: This breed of beef cattle is: Hereford, Shorthorn. Limousin, Charolais
14. An Ox is a(n): older bull, older steer, breed of cattle, word for a big cow 15. There are how many surviving species of wild bovines? 3, 7, 12, 17 16. "Polled" means: they grow large horns, they don't grow horns, they are born without testicles, their horns are cut off. 17. This is a: Polled Hostein, Apache Ghost Cow, Limousin, Charolais 18. Wuzzat?
1. The extinct Auroch, ancestor of all of our domestic cattle 2. Yak 3. Jersey Cow 4. Black Angus beef cattle 5. Holstein Cow 6. Shorthorn bull 7. Guernsey Cow 8. Trick Question: The Musk Ox isn't in the cow family - it's basically sort of a big goat 9. Longhorn Bull 10. Brown Swiss Cow 11. Polled Herefords 12. The mighty and dangerous Cape Buffalo 13. Limousin 14. An Ox is a full-grown castrated bull, or steer, usually over 4 years old 15. There are 12. Some of them are very rare, endangered, and obscure. 16. Polled cattle are bred to be without horns 17 That would be The Golden Calf
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Gorgeous beasts. Those degenerate Episcopalians, tho, were tricky to ID at first...
How about a similar thing on horses, and ponies...my favorite the ill-tempered but sturdy and dogged Shetland. I reject--no D___N Shetlands on this site ;-)
Thanks for the wonderful work with the Bovine piece. As for myself--well, I am partial to color on the grass. I like a mixed herd--don't have a clue why my eye does that. I know it is not practical for raising. We used to have a lot more mixed hereds--I always thought it had a little to do with fence breakage, or . . . . As for eating: we are spoiled-- the folks at home raise cattle, which are all range fed with some extra grass, no animal by products. Then, they pick out a few calves for themselves and bring them in closer to home for raising. The folks have known about the benefits of dry aging beef for 3 generations now. They have a built in rack right there in the shed--geez that is THE best beef in the world. Husband tells me I am the reason they put a fence around cattle--stop me from taking a bite as I walk by! However, I repeat--no gd Shetlands--Fjord yes, Icelandic ok, Connemara for a little bit of a conversation. Anymore, running a mixed herd is the safest route to go...if you are running your cattle through the sale barns. The buyers (commercial buyers) are always docking you over one issue or another. If you run Brahman one week through the sale, they'll hit you on ears, dewlap, hump. If you run a few Simmental the next week, they'll dock you on hips and shoulders. If run a couple of Keyes through, they'll dock you on long legs. If you run through a few Beefmaster they'll dock you on short legs, etc. You have the idea, the buyer's will hit you on anything they can get away with to save a few dead presidents.
In the '90s, when "certified" Angus became the flavour of the decade, I thought about going registered Angus. However, one day I sat at a table with three USDA grade inspectors who graded beef at IBP in Amarillo, Texas only to learn that the USDA certified anything that was eighty-percent black in colour as being "Angus". It didn't matter what breed or mix. Needless to say, I wasn't going to waste my money to build a registered Angus herd upon that premise. Over the past few decades, my family has raised registered and mixed cattle. I've run registered Charolais, Simmental, Whiteface, Santa Gertrudis, Watusi, Beefmaster, and now I'm looking at Droughtmaster cattle. Regardless, I have learned that dollar for dollar, I make as much on a mixed herd as I do with a registered breed. I have a cow/calf operation so I'm not really interested selling semen or show cattle. So it works differently depending on what fits your need. Anyway, like you, I'm partial to mixed herds over registered, they're simply easier to deal with. I am either
A. Proud B. Ashamed C. Indifferent or D. All of the Above ...to admit that I made a B on this exam, with my homemade grading scale. I do grade on a curve. RE: Polled Herefords
I am fortunate that my kids will never read your explanation. I always ask, when seeing a reference to polled Herefords, "Who cares how they're going to vote?" Iz telz ya naw it be hard ta tell wifout da smell'in part. Seesi be down at ground and you folks be up top. all dem cows 'cept the ones dat ain't dats natch'rul...
now what's ya need is a guod dizplay ob grb fo a possumtater ta dig into. if i coulda sniff'n i coulda dung betta on da text. now i be go'in down ta da bog wif Mz. Possum"Tighter"Tater fo sum TaterLuv'n ... (Good lovin' . . .) (Good lovin' . . .) (Good lovin' . . .) I was feelin' . . . so bad, I asked my "Tightytater just what I had, I said, "Tighter, . . . (Tighty . . .) Mz. luv'in me., . . . (Tighter . . .) Now can you tell me, tell me, tell me, What's ailin' me?" (Tighter . . .) She said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, (Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah) Yes, indeed, all you really need . . . (Is good lovin') Gimme that good, good lovin . . . (Good lovin') All I need is lovin' . . . (Good lovin') Good lovin', baby Silly man, Bovine American no. 6 is a Santa Gertrudis, originally bred at the King Ranch by crossing shorthorns with brahmans - see the hump? Check out http://santagertrudis.com/history.html
Saw one do a surprise 180 coming out of a chute, catch a veterinary and effortlessly toss him over a 7-foot fence. No injury. Lotta surprise. "Mean MF" a better answer than shorthorn! could be right, but the image is labelled as a shorthorn, and I believe the photo is from England
Santa Gertrudis. I thought they were only used in oil company commercials in the 1970's.
I understand the Chinese are working on their version of Japanese origami cows/bulls for export to American fast food outlets. You'll be able to order a paper hamburger that smells just like the real thing..Add the "secret sauce" in abundance and a bottle oF Aquafina and you're good to go. Think of the cow flatulence we'll eliminate. If you'd like a head start you can fold up a couple of burgers at home following these simple origami directions. http://dev.origami.com/images_pdf/bull.pdf Word out on beef...
The Chinese are working on a reverse engineered rip-off Japanese origami cow. Folded with artificial bovine flavored paper the burgers http://dev.origami.com/images_pdf/bull.pdf covered in "secret sauce" and washed down with a cold bottle of Aquafina will aid in saving the Earth from hundreds of tons of bovine flatulence. The American fast food industry is expecting delivery in time for the upcoming school year. Since it will contain a "flavored essence" of bovine by product the FDA has already approved it for US markets. Bon Appetit Those who do not want to wait may use the origami folding instructions provided. It is recommended that the paper be marinated in A-1 steak sauce and sun dried prior to folding. |
A brief photo history of the church steeple Our Bovine Final ExamThe Difficult Paradox of Conservatism: Seeking Power to Increase FreedomFlying Machines: Summer Fun with Toy AirplanesThe Gin and Tonic, Malaria, and Sickle-Cell
Tracked: Jul 24, 19:47