Maggie's Farm

Since I was a child, the term "The American Dream" led to assumptions of getting rich, having fame, having financial stability, owning a home.  In the last 30 years, we've seen the first happen for a select few (tech specialists/entrepreneurs), home ownership skyrocket then collapse (2008), success/fame seems to have ups and downs (OK, Boomer), and financial stability is something more people seem to say isn't available (I know that I have spent over 2 years on unemployment in the last 22 years, but I'd still say financial stability is available and readily attainable if you apply yourself).  It is the broad assumptions regarding The Dream which make it understandable that select groups of people will feel it's not attainable.  But as bad as the broad definition is, there's another thing that helps craft and magnify the negative psyche.

Social media, which is widely maligned, is an ecosystem which this blog is part of.  It provides the ability to reach people at an individual level, allowing the opportunity to share thoughts and ideas.  You get to choose where you get your information and resources from by visiting sources you prefer and which comfort or inform you.  As a result, if you're negative, you'll tend to collect information from purveyors of negative views, and discount positive views.  More importantly, if you read about others doing well, having success, and having things you don't have - social media can compound whichever views you have developed.  It magnifies the effect of information collection.  It has, as a result of tech manipulation, managed to promote an assumption that 'now there is more bad than good'.  This, in turn, has raised the awareness regarding the unachievable nature of the American Dream as a concept for many people.  As a regular user (and provider, here at Maggie's) of social media, I have astutely avoided the negativity because I utilize many varied sources of information rather than just social media.  Social media is a net good, but as it has been used by the poorly educated, it's created a kind of tunnel vision and/or echo chamber.  It is the comfort food of information resources.

When I first entered this realm, over 10 years ago, it was explained to me that when you see people on Facebook or Twitter living a presumably dream life, usually the image you see makes you feel worse about your own situation - even if their situation isn't really a "dream life".  Example - I have a good friend who made a fortune in tech years ago.  She travels wherever she wants, whenever she wants, and I love seeing her pictures.  Am I jealous?  Secretly...yes (oops, not so secret now), but not really.  Where others feel like "why does she have it so good, and I am stuck here at home?", I simply say "Good for her, I'll get there someday.  Or I won't.  But I'm happy for her."  Many people, however, just remain intensely jealous and feel bad they can't live her life.  I know people who have said "I wish she'd stop posting."  Me?  I love seeing where she goes.  It's exhilirating and helps me form ideas for places I'd like to see.

This is where surveys like the one I was taking go awry.  Given the opportunity share my own view, I said that the American Dream is about being happy.  Happy with yourself.  Happy with your family.  Happy with your life and what you do.  Will success make me happy?  Maybe.  Will owning a home?  Maybe not - it's actually kind've a pain.  Will financial stability?  I have a large degree of that, but even when things are stable, you're never feeling completely comfortable.  Real financial stability comes with an understanding of risk and the fact that it can all go away, which is just part of what makes people feel negative (though I believe it makes me happy to understand this fact).  But the survey was designed to push people to say the American Dream is dead (my knowledge of statistics allowed me to see through how the questions were crafted to generate a desired result), but I pushed back on what they wanted to see, because the dream is very much alive.

I know, because I have the American Dream.  I'm happy, and when things go poorly (as they did last year) I believe I can improve my situation.  I know many successful friends and family who feel the American Dream is unattainable and are negative about its achievability, or even call it a myth, simply because they aren't happy themselves.  They have all the things the Dream presumably offers, so why would they be negative?  Because they had to work harder than they thought they'd have to.  Because they are doing something they don't love.  Because they have benchmarked themselves against others.  There are a lot of reasons why people who have achieved the American Dream immediately discount it, and become negative about it.  None of them are reasonable or realistic.  It's based on a misunderstanding of what the American Dream represents.  They've been sold a bill of goods regarding it, and never analyzed what they bought into.

Long ago, I decided you can only benchmark yourself against who you were yesterday.  By that standard, I'm doing better each day financially, mentally, and physically because I put the effort in each day.  Even when I was down last year about being on the unemployment lines, I spent time at the Food Bank volunteering - so others could lift themselves up.  That made me feel good.  And as my jobless situation extended out longer and longer, I should have gotten more negative.  I didn't. 

I knew I could improve my situation.  I was also acutely aware of how badly off others can be.  By maintaining this balance, I felt anything was attainable.  Attitude is everything when it comes to achieving the American Dream.

The American Dream isn't any one thing.  It varies from person to person.  Your version of it is going to be very different than mine.  Will you be happy owning a farm?  Living in the woods?  Whatever makes you happy and content won't be what makes me happy and content.  Ultimately THAT is the American Dream - whatever we want it to be for ourselves.  As long as we look at others to determine how we're doing in achieving whatever dream we have - we're never going to live our dream.  As long as others define the American Dream for us, it will remain a mirage on the horizon.

In "The Gilded Age", Julian Fellows has shown how the ultra rich of the late 1800s were the rock stars and Hollywood stars of today.  But there was less information about them (no social media), and what there was available, was all manipulated to craft an image.  Today, with social media you can craft an image, but that image can also can crash much faster and in a more damaging fashion.  That is why the aspirations of the 1800s led to many saying "it's America - I can achieve that."  The plethora of information and constant torrent of celebrity news today makes many feel worse about themselves.  This allows the already successful to be even more successful.  Hollywood stars spin off a million brands based on their names and images, taking a piece of the action along the way.  Good for them.  Seems impossible for others, who don't have that head start, to match them or catch up.  But it isn't.

More importantly, this by no means assures happiness.  I'd say the American Dream is alive and well, is not a myth, and is more achievable today than ever before.  But you have to focus on what's important in making yourself happy to achieve it, and stop paying attention to everyone else.

I'd love to hear whether any of you feel the Dream is dead, unattainable, or a myth.