If you've been under a rock, you might have missed out on the news that the internet sorta crapped out on Friday. You couldn't twit, or twat, or twunt, or twisp, or whatever you call that internet grunting you guys do. You couldn't go to Reddit to visit subreddits that consist of one founder, one reader, and one moderator, adding up to one person. You couldn't binge-watch Game of Cards on Netflix. Or was it Harry of the Rings you like? I forget. Anyway, you couldn't do it.
I didn't notice. You know, if you ask me, the internet is now old enough to be judged on its merits. It kinda sucks. When it doesn't work because your baby monitor and a Cuisinart in the next country don't want it to work, it demonstrates that it was set up and is being run by fools.
Still, here we are. On to the links!
YouTube lecture: 1177 BC: The Year Civilization Collapsed
The Hittites probably didn't ban plastic grocery bags. The rest was just downstream effects.
Thousands of California soldiers forced to repay enlistment bonuses a decade after going to war
They should form an army. A "Bonus Army," if you will.
Did 40-year-old Viking experiment discover life on Mars?
If they did, they probably raped it and burned its house. Oh, sorry, wrong Vikings.
New Climate-Friendlier Coolant Has a Catch: It’s Flammable
I'm pretty sure regular radiator coolant is flammable. You just have to try really, really hard.
Kurt Vonnegut, The Art of Fiction No. 64
Kurt Vonnegut was one of the best writing teachers I ever heard of. Like most good ball coaches, he couldn't play very well.
Bill Gates: He eats Big Macs for lunch and schedules every minute of his day - meet the man worth $80 billion
Bill Gates seems pleasant enough. He has no idea how he ended up with all that money, and he has no idea how to use it productively.
Elon Musk: The entrepreneur’s finances are as jaw-dropping, inventive and combustible as his space rockets
Tech oligarchs buy real businesses with borrowed money from fake businesses. You're going to see a lot of people without swim trunks when this tide goes out. I'm not sure this guy is smart enough to buy a real business, so he really better keep a weather eye on the tide chart. At least Bezos has a paper route to fall back on.
The iPod turns 15: a visual history of Apple's mobile music icon
I never had one. Now no one has one. I feel some Latin coming on.
Is this the best 10-Year-Old Drummer In the World?
Hard to tell. He's not playing In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida
New Podesta Email Exposes Dem Playbook For Rigging Polls Through "Oversamples"
The purpose of rigging polls is not discouraging opponents and attracting money from people who want to back the winner. That's gravy. The real purpose is cover for stuffing ballot boxes. James Michael Curley could have told you that.
Forget baby showers! Young couples are holding 'vasectomy parties' to celebrate the start of a childless family, and ask guests to name their CAR instead
Do they hand out Nikes and purple blankets? Oh well. No children to pull the plug on you in the hospital when the nurse isn't looking. The nurse will do it when she notices no children come to visit you.
Cracking the Cranial Vault: What It Feels Like to Perform Brain Surgery
What's it feel like to perform brain surgery? I'd be more interested to know what it feels like to get your brain surgery from someone who can't spell "vise."
Well, it's Monday, and last time I checked, the internet still worked. You're going to have to think of another excuse for not getting anything done this week. Tell them your Samsung Galaxy phone caught on fire, ignited your car's air conditioner, and you got oversampled at Sunday's wine tasting. It's worth a shot.
