Reading news reports from other countries is fun. You have no chips on their intellectual poker table, so you can read about things with an unjaundiced eye. I think George Washington called the attitude disinterestedness. He meant you shouldn't have a dog in any fight that you stand to benefit from. Old Muttonhead was somewhat phlegmatic, so it's hard to know what he might be thinking about any particular topic, but I've gotten the impression by reading about him that if he saw the capital city that bears his name, he'd bust out the fire and sword. Disinterestedly.
Anyway, I went to Europe this AM and poked around, looking for things I could be disinterested in, hoping they'd interest me. I hope they interest you, too.
Sex pigs halt traffic after laser attack on Pokémon teens
That's the actual headline from a Swedish news outlet. I am so very disinterested in all that. The 21st Century is making Hieronymus Bosch look like Thomas Kinkade.
Roomba creator responds to reports of ‘poopocalypse’: ‘We see this a lot’
A story from Old Blighty. Apparently the Groom of the Stool is now Rosie the robot maid from The Jetsons, and she's really bad at her job.
Diplomatic spat over Turkish child sex headline
From Austria. Yes, Turkey, the problem is that this information is in the newspaper, not that it's accurate. I'd read the Turkish newspaper, but there aren't any.
French mayor bans Pokemon Go app from his village
Isn't France still essentially under martial law? Don't government functionaries have better things to do? Don't Pokemon Go players?
Greek PM vows to make Germany pay war reparations
Snicker. For some reason I have a Cab Calloway song playing in my head. Won't they just have to turn over all the proceeds to Troy? Hi di hi di hi di ho!
Norway's angel princess divorces novelist husband
That's a weird moniker for the 21st Century. Does she invest in startups or something?
Spain's Olympic kayak hero only just became 'Spanish'
I'm trying to wrap my head around the formulation: "Spain's Olympic kayak hero." El Cid unavailable for comment.
Dong gets nod for 'world's biggest offshore wind farm'
From Denmark. I think I saw that movie at my bachelor party.
12 mistakes foreigners make when moving to Italy
"Expecting anything to function properly" is mysteriously absent from this list.
This map of Berlin Wi-Fi names is oddly addictive
I think this comes under the heading of "slow news day" in Germany. Shouldn't you be shopping for a bottle of ouzo and a spray of flowers for some Greek, to go along with your reparations check? Get busy.
Well, there you have it. Europe. And I though the United States was a silly place. Good night, Mr. and Mrs. Europe, from border to border and coast to coast, and all the ships at sea. You were fun while you lasted.
