Well, it's Sunday. That means Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes in the morning, and Sunday-go-to-hell clothes in the afternoon. You know, for puttering around the house.
What's that? You don't putter? That's a shame. It must be hard to putter when you live in a concrete martin house in the city like you all do. You need a jackhammer to hang a picture, and they're a bear to get past the doorman without a lengthy explanation.
Me, I live in the country. I can get dressed up like a scarecrow and have at my house any time I want. I can point to the gutters or point to the lawn or point to the snow-covered driveway with the best of 'em. Then I say yo no entiendo and point at my wife when it's time for the crew to get paid. After that, it's off to the couch to watch America's true pastime: Filling out spreadsheets with football players' names on them, and betting on them.
I must admit I don't keep up with the gridiron game as closely as I used to. Say, did you know the Rams moved out of Cleveland? Well, Los Angeles is a better home for them anyway, and I'm sure they'll stick there indefinitely. I've noticed the cheerleaders don't look like girls in college anymore, either. They look like cocktail waitresses in a lounge on an oil platform. C'est la vie.
I put a picture of The Maid of Orleans I swiped from our friend Vanderleun's page atop Maggie's page this morning. At least I think it's old Joanie. The hairstyle and blank eyes could also indicate that the statue is the rhythm guitar player in Badfinger. I'm not sure about the sword and armor, though. That's more of a heavy metal thing, I think.
A little lower down on his webpage, Vanderleun seems to think Marine Le Pen is a new Joan of Arc, but I'm not feelin' it. Before they gave Joan the hot stake instead of the cold chop, she seemed rather more serious about being Catholic than getting a corner office at the Quai d'Orsay. France doesn't need someone that dislikes Moslems. France needs Moslems who fear Catholics. Jeanne bent her eye on vacancy and with the incorporeal air did hold discourse. And the sword wasn't a prop. Unfortunately, she's not on the ballot.
On to the news:
Vatican to try five, including reporters, over leaks scandal
The Vatican on Saturday ordered five people, including two Italian journalists, to stand trial for leaking and publishing secret documents, in the latest development in a leaks scandal which is rocking the papacy. The trial stems from the publication of two recent books which depict a Vatican plagued by mismanagement, greed and corruption and where Pope Francis faces stiff resistance from the old guard to his reform agenda.The Holy See was embarrassed and angered by the books, which it said used information that should never have been allowed to leave the walls of the city state.
Let's borderline blaspheme and ask, WWJAD? (What would Joan of Arc do?) I'm no expert, and think it presumptuous to speak for her, but I have an inkling whatever she'd do, she'd do it to Frankie, not the reporters, and it would leave a mark.
New Orleans Medical Student Shot While Trying to Stop Attack on Woman
Surveillance video released by the New Orleans Police Department shows a hooded man dragging a staggering woman around 4:30 a.m. Friday. Moments later, a car stops and another man, identified as Peter Gold, 25, gets out while appearing to make a call on his cellphone."The victim drove up and attempted to assist the woman at which point the suspect pointed a gun at him and demanded money," New Orleans Police said in a statement."The victim explained to the suspect repeatedly that he did not have any cash. The suspect became enraged and shot the victim once in the stomach," the statement said.
Speaking of Orleans, WWJAD? It's not for me to say, but I imagine she would kneel down and tenderly kiss that brave man on his furrowed brow, nurse his wounds, and then go off to see if it was possible to fit the second man into a tuna can.
Exclusive: In Paris attack, nurse discovers the man he tried to save was bomber
When he tore open the man's t-shirt, David quickly realized that what he initially thought was a gas explosion at the cafe close to the Bataclan music hall where gunmen killed 89, was actually something far worse."There were wires; one white, one black, one red and one orange. Four different colors," he told Reuters. "I knew then he was a suicide bomber." The man David was trying to resuscitate was Brahim Abdeslam, one of those involved in a series of deadly attacks that killed 130 people at bars, restaurants, a soccer stadium and a music hall. No one other than Abdeslam died at the cafe.
WWJAD? I am a sinner, not a saint, so don't trust me, but I figure she would commend that nurse for showing simple Christian charity to all. Then if the bomber recovered from his wounds, she'd give him a 12" haircut.
More than 1,000 attend funeral for veteran with no family
As the 10 a.m. service began, the church was filled with strangers who came to say goodbye to a man they never knew. The funeral director says more than 1,000 showed up.“What started out as small internal service for a forgotten individual turned into a public affirmation I think not only of his life, but every life,” said Bruce Buchanan of Flanner and Buchanan Funeral Centers.
WWJAD? This one is easier. She would weep, as did I.
Amish man runs marathon in traditional slacks and suspenders
Twenty-two-year-old Leroy Stolzfus finished the 26.2-mile Harrisburg Marathon on Nov. 8 in just over three hours and five minutes, all while wearing his community's traditional clothing, Pennlive.com reported.Stolzfus said he's used to running in slacks and suspenders, and he believes he would have run closer to a three-hour marathon if he hadn't started out so fast."I was feeling good, but I kind of almost crashed at mile 15," Stolzfus said.
WWJAD? She'd run next to him, clanking all the way. Then they'd stop five yards shy of the finish line and pray for the other runners to catch up.
Green campaigner readies to swim the Pacific
Now aged 48, the naturalized American says he is so worried about the future of his two children, eight and 14, that he's returning to the water to raise awareness of the dire problems in the Pacific, hoping to become the first person to cross the ocean without a flotation device.Lecomte's team includes six crew members on the Rolano, publicists and managers on land, and scientists at several American institutions, including the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute, who will collect data, including plankton species and radiation levels.
WWJAD? Mention she needed fewer people to save France.
Sword-wielding psycho freaks out at Apple Store
A man swinging a samurai sword fought an imaginary duel Friday on the glass spiral staircase of the bustling Apple Store on Fifth Avenue as frightened tourists and computer geeks looked on. Video posted to Instagram shows the swordsman walking up the staircase, and then sitting on it while performing pretend lunges and parries for his startled audience at around 3:55 p.m.
WWJAD? Trick question. She's not an Apple person. That was William Tell. Joan wore armor, so I imagine she was more of a Chrome user.
Treasure trove: Farmer discovers 4,000 Roman coins in Swiss orchard
When you spot a glimmering object in your back garden, it rarely ends up being anything more valuable than aluminum-foil. But one farmer in Switzerland has hit the jackpot after discovering a treasure trove of Roman coins thought to be more than 1,700 years old. Further excavation -- with the help of the regional archaeological service -- revealed 4,166 coins buried in Ueken, in the northern canton of Aargau, Switzerland.
WWJAD? She'd probably remind you to render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's, and unto God the things that are God's. Then she'd point out that Caesar has been dead for two thousand years, and split the dough with you.
Well, I hope you all have a nice Sunday, and if you think it might be fun or enlightening, you can wonder WWJAD about everything in your life today. I know for a dead cert she wouldn't take the points and bet on the Cleveland Rams. Obvious Saints fan.
