What do they have in common?
Not much. Until now, as Jesse Spector of the Sporting News tweeted:
Which, of course, led to an email exchange in which we fit Animal House quotes to the event. If you're a fan of Animal House, or baseball, try it. As my brother says, it's like shooting fish in a barrel.
"Rodriguez, we've given this a lot of thought, your Delta Tau Chi name is "Juicer""
Greg Marmalard: You're talking about A-Rod, sir.
Dean Bud Selig: Of course I'm talking about A-Rod, you TWERP!
Dean Bud Selig: The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.
Dean Bud Selig: Well, well, well. Looks like somebody forgot there's a rule against anabolic steroids & HGH in Major League baseball!
Ryan Braun: What a tool.
Dean Bud Selig: I didn't get that, son, what was that?
Ryan Braun: Uh, I said, "What a shame that a few bad apples have to spoil a good time for everyone by breaking the rules."
Dean Bud Selig: Put a sock in it, boy, or else you'll be outta here like shit through a goose.
Milwaukee Press: If I was you, I'd be...
Ryan Braun: Leaving! What a great idea!
A-Rod: I'm playing professional baseball.
Biogenesis: Don't sweat it, sweetie, I won't tell.