We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Please shave your beaver, or have the Korean ladies give you a Brazilian.
Why must men shave their faces in Western civilization? It is just one more annoying chore in getting ready to face the day, and it is surely "unnatural," and doubtless a contributor to global warmingcoolingclimate change whatever.
When I take a pass on this annoyance on the occasional weekend, She Who Must Be Obeyed tells me that I look like a bum. Well, I find taking showers a time-wasting burden too. I think I have an inner hippie, an inner Cave Man, or an inner Occupy Wall Street. Probably an inner Yankee Farmer.
If you shave your pet beaver, I will shave my face.
I don't really care if I look like a bum on weekends. Sue me. Good grooming is a hassle. When you reach maturity, hair grows revoltingly out of your damn ears and nostrils and everywhere else.
She is probably right that I need to conform to fit into modern society. I find it all tedious and tiring sometimes, but I have what it takes to keep on keepin' on. Happy wife, happy life, as they say.
A beard makes a man look old. A clean-shaven man looks younger. A beard on some men makes them look distinguished. A beard on most men reveals their true nature, which is that they are slobs (especially those who use off-colored slang to refer to a part of a woman's anatomy).
My husband didn't like to shave either. But one day on the internet he stumbled across a website about shaving and realized that he was approaching the problem the wrong way---that is to say: with a bad attitude.
Now he treats his face to the very best of creams, lotions, and potions (all unscented, because he doesn't like being perfumed). He buys highest quality razors/blades and changes them often (though they last much longer than cheap blades). Do I complain about how much he spends? No, because quality products actually last longer than the stuff you buy at Target or the grocery store.
So the chore he hated the most has now become a personal act of luxury. I cut his toenails, and trim his fingernails, and tweeze those annoying ear hairs, too. Sometimes I sit on the counter and shave his face for him. It takes a lot longer, but he no longer hates shaving.
I grew a beard twice. Once when I was 28 and a few fellows in the office had a bit of a contest. The second time was when I was 30 and fed up with my position and looking to leave. It was a visible manifestation of my discontent, and when I finally did quit, I shaved.