We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
When I joined Maggie's recently, I was told it was a voluntary collective. "To each according to their needs, from each according to their abilities. Just be eclectic with your topics." I decided this would be interesting and fun.
After watching the Occupy Wall Street movement, however, I've come to realize that Maggie's is just another corporate entity keeping me down, and I am being shortchanged by The System. I've decided to visit some of the Wall Street protesters and get them to join me here. We can complain about how Maggie is keeping us from enjoying the well-deserved fruits of our labor. After all, Maggie's Farm takes advantage of a public good (the internet), so just as people like Elizabeth Warren point out Maggie should, in all fairness, be giving back.
The Wall Street protesters agree and feel that if Maggie won't share, then perhaps the government should step in and make things fair. After all, I went to college. I have debts. I'm putting into The System. Where are my goodies? I want my Dunkin' Donuts! It's time to redistribute!
I call on other writers to join me in creating a list of demands that can be endless. Not having one demand makes us stronger. If we have more, and make the demands go on and on forever, we show strength.
Now I'm going to go take a nap, play some hacky sack, blog on my Mac about how I'm looking out for the best interests of other Maggie's Farmers, have compassion for others, feel good about myself, and engage in many other unproductive activities until I get something for nothing.
(I really hope Maggie has a sense of humor.)
Editor, to Bulldog: We would gladly surrender to the armed occupiers below the fold, but I am afraid most of today's Occupier chicks do not meet Maggie's Farm standards - to say the least. Furthermore, the $5 million Dunkin Donuts pays me each year is all mine! Be a big dog and suck it up! You get a free megaphone out of it!
I would admire your single-minded drive for diversity, but would not wish to imply that merit is any more valid than its opposite, as to do so would empower hierarchy, as a heuristic, non-stochastic teleology of trope itself as a politics of the person/state merge text.
Right On, brother. After all, as Elizabeth Warren sez, The Interweb was built by the public (invented by Algore, course), and us Maggies just rake in the dough. I demand shootin' lessons from those ladies, and half of our vast profits should be donated to the WaStProtesters (for haircuts, only)
Can't be sure, Bulldog, but I think those boots might be Doc Martins. I've never worn anything like that. But I haven't worn Manolos or Jimmy Choos either. Too many years wearing heels on hard stone floors have reduced me to flats and Easy Spirits. I'm just deeply grateful there are such things, as I'm sure you are equally grateful that pretty young ladies enjoy going around buck naked in your neighborhood.
Why do these occupiers show such disregard for proper dress? And really, shouldn't they be carrying Wall Street pigeons?
#6 chuck on 2011-10-09 16:25
Wow -- what a thought. Pigeon Pizzas! I think I read somewhere that folks are providing free pizzas to the knuckleheads on wall street (i.e. the street itself, not the buildings along the street). Pigeon (tell 'em it's squab) would be a great protein addition to a pizza, and it would do away with some of the critters, too! And the feathers could be used for additional stuffing for sleeping bags as the weather turns cold!