Maggie's Farm

"Good morning, everyone.  And how are you all today?"

"Fine, chief".

"Mornin', sir."

Sarah Palin Makes Me Crazy!

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"All right, everyone, let's settle down.  Jim, you're fired for again using the P word without authorization."

"But bos-"

"I don't want to see it again, Jim.  Sure, it provides a cheap laugh now, but the lingering mental damage from actually seeing the P word in print is unestimable."

"Sorry, everyone."

"Okay, we've got a mixed bag on the agenda today so let's get to it.  First, the Moonbeam Mormon.  Yes, Mack?"

"I think I got a pretty good hook on this one, boss.  Whad'you guys think?"

Romney’s Religion is a Barrier to GOP Nod

Will Gay Rights Pave the Way for Decriminalizing Mormon Polygamy?

Why the Polygamist Rights Movement Will Never Get Off the Ground

Romney's Evangelical Problem, by Neil Young

"We've got him bracketed!  Excellent work, Mack, and Neil Young wrote that last one?  There goes the Boomer vote.  And the 'Mormon Polygamy' angle is terrific.  Have we got anything else on that?  Shirley?"

"As you wish, glorious leader."

Less Than Half Of Americans Know Romney's A Mormon

"But not for long!  Okay, gang, we're on the right track.  Anything fresh on the Wicked Witch and the Crazy Creationist?  Jane?"

"You know my theory when it comes to elections, boss.  'Politic's the name, but infighting's the game.'  You know all those nasty things Pawlenty said about Bachmann last week?  Ain't payback a bitch!"

Bachmann Compares Pawlenty to Obama

"Crap, Jane, and that was on that hotbed of right-wing radicalism, 'The Corner'?  I don't know what Promotions is paying those guys, but we're sure getting our money's worth.  Anything else on the Witch?"

"In this market, boss?  Glutted.  Catch the snappy meme."

Michele Bachmann's Views, Not Her Headaches, Make Her Unfit

Bachmann's Gaffes and Lies Mean She's Unfit for White House

Bachmann Unfit for Office? That Is A Big "DUH" to Any Sane American

"And it was Pawlenty who started this 'unfit' thing?  Have Jeannie send him a gift basket for me.  Yes, Steve?"

"You guys know how covens of witches usually hang out in groups of three?  May I present..."

Lenin, Mao, and Bachmann

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Jeez, Steve, seeing those three names together almost brings a tear to my eye.  Again, I have to say how proud I am to be working with such dedicated professionals.  Okay, back to sliming the candidates, what about the Tinpot Texan?  Mary, your people have him 'corralled' yet?"

"It's all noose to me, boss.  The guy doesn't cow me at all.  His brand just isn't within my range.  He does nothing but fence with the media, horse around in his office, buy his wife cheap corral necklaces, and barn the candle at both ends!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Unfortunately, we couldn't really dig up any dirt on Tinpot this week.  All Doc Murky could come up with was this."

Wheezing and Gasping After Surgery, Perry Persists in Campaign

"We tried to portray him as a walking invalid, cane clutched tightly in feeble hand, about ready to collapse at any moment, but we just couldn't get the traction like we could with the Witch and her migraines."

"Damn.  Okay, what about that gay thing I heard about?  Yes, Jim?"

"Permission to use the projector, boss?"

"Go ahead."

"Well, everyone, as I mentioned at the last meeting, last year the right-wing bloggers jumped aboard the gay bandwagon and promoted the gay group GOProud to be a sponsor of their big political event, CPAC, and basically told the Christian groups who had previously sponsored it to go to hell."

"That remains one of the most awesome things I've ever heard anyone say in this office."

"Absolutely."

"I agree.  It's really stunning.  Continue, Jim."

"Well, as I noted, that removed the word 'traditional' from their treasured phrase, 'traditional American values', thereby knocking out one of their key underpinnings.  Nor has the bandwagon stopped.  This past Sunday, perhaps the headline blogger on Pajamas Media, Roger Simon, had this quick note to pass along.  Let me slip it in the projector.  Note that this moron doesn't even get the story right.  They weren't 'banned', they just had their sponsorship dropped."

I cannot speak for PJM as of yet — it’s the weekend and I’m in a ferry queue in Seattle — but I had to speak out personally in immediate support of my friend Andrew Breitbart regarding GOProud. I too will not be attending CPAC next year unless the ban of this organization is lifted. Frankly I am appalled by the decision of CPAC’s new management and I hope they will rescind as soon as possible. If they don’t, I won’t be there. I urge others to deliver the same message.

"Note the 'cannot speak for the entire web site -- yet' remark.  In other words, This is the way Pajamas Media is going to go, boys and girls, so you'd better get on board. And no doubt Hot Air and the rest will dutifully fall in line, just like last year.  All of which brings-"

"Excuse me, Jim?"

"What's up, Mack?"

"Hot Air checked in yesterday afternoon.  But what was telling is the wording they used.  The article was titled 'Gay marriage: awkward issue for some GOP hopefuls', but what's notable is the quote they picked out of the article for their link."

"More and more Republicans are supporting gay marriage"

"Repeat anything enough times and the populace believes it?  Good call, Mack.  All of which brings us to the Tinpot Texan."

Rick Perry: 'Gay Marriage is Not Fine With Me'

Texas Gov. Perry: 'Gay Marriage is Not Fine With Me'

Perry: 'Gay Marriage Is Not Fine With Me'

"Okay, got the idea?  Now picture the right-wing bloggers who endorsed GOProud seeing the above, and then seeing one of these little gems show up, this one courtesy of the radical right-wing blog site Ace of Spades."

"Now remove Palin from the mix and extrapolate."

"Right!  What'ya gonna do?!"

"Bingo, Jane.  Okay, so you endorse gay groups for CPAC at the expense of the Christian groups, then you back a Christian candidate who opposes gay groups?  Yeah, that's going to play real well in Peoria.  These people have lost middle America, if they ever even had it."

"Do you suggest we do anything?"

"Nope.  They're doing a fine job all on their own."

"Excellent.  Okay, one more thing, people.  I notice the Tea Baggers have gotten a little attention lately.  Have we got anything to add?  Shirley, you've got that devilish gleam in your eye again."

"I love the news business!"

The Tea Party's Terrorist Tactics

The Tea Party Taliban

The Tea Party is a Real Threat to America

Tea Party Terror Watch?

Eric Cantor’s Tea Party Terrorism Threatens America

"How weak!"

"Softie!"

"Uh, yeah, I'd have to agree, Shirley.  Why are you going so easy on them?"

"Well, I thought we'd better approach it gently, boss, one of those 'put a seed of doubt in their minds' stories.  We'll get serious down the road, especially if they back Perry."

"Good enough.  Okay, people, let's get to work!"