If I'd Known Government Spending Was Half This Cool, I'd Have Voted For A Tax Increase

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Friday, May 27. 2011

If I'd Known Government Spending Was Half This Cool, I'd Have Voted For A Tax Increase

The Washington Times has the straight skinny on the downstream effects of our porcine federal government's expenditures. There's the usual stuff about billion dollar toilet seats without holes in them and so forth, but there's one gem hidden among the awful offal that makes the annual three trillion spree worth it. Oh, yeah. Shrimp on a treadmill!

Well, that's cooler than a HUD block grant, I'll say that much for it. But I gather everything the government does isn't nearly as essential as that.

The Senate’s top waste watcher, in a new report Thursday, said taxpayer money has gone to funding jello wrestling in the Antarctic, to testing the exercise ability of shrimp on a treadmill and to a laundry-folding robot - all funded by the National Science Foundation.

Is "jello wrestling at the South Pole" a euphemism for something actually naughty? Or is it just dull, useless, ugly people wrestling in jello at great expense, in between bouts of fudging statistics about how hot it is in the Antarctic because I drive a four-door car? I'm sorry, it's hard to keep up with these hipsters. Next thing you know, you're going to tell me Pabst Blue Ribbon is popular again.

But the shrimp? That's entertainment!

Posted by Roger de Hauteville in Hot News & Misc. Short Subjects, Our Essays at 08:11 | Comments (11) | Trackbacks (0)

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I never thought I'd see prawnography on Maggie's Farm!

#1 BlogDog (Link) on 2011-05-27 09:18 (Reply)

Used to you were suppose to give everything the smell test of "How will this look printed in the Washington Post?" I guess now, it is the Washington Examiner but same difference. Someone didn't think, how are we going to explain this to the press, before approving it.

#2 JKB on 2011-05-27 09:33 (Reply)

"...it's hard to keep up with these hipsters. Next thing you know, you're going to tell me Pabst Blue Ribbon is popular again."

Pabst Blue Ribbon is popular again.

"The beer experienced a sales revival in the early 2000s after a two decade-long slump, largely due to its increasing popularity among the 20-something demographic in cities such as Brooklyn, New York; Columbus, Ohio; Chicago, Illinois; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania; Ann Arbor, Michigan; Portland, Oregon; and Richmond, Virginia. As a result, it has become popularly associated with the contemporary hipster subculture." - Wikipedia

And BlogDog, I'm a little surprised at your statement. While I, too, was shocked at seeing raw, naked prawnography here on sweet little Maggie's Farm, my question for you is, why are you against healthy exercise? Granted, running on a treadmill isn't as "natural" as running outside, but it's still good exercise, right? So how come it's okay for humans to run on a treadmill but not prawns?

Or, are you prawnophobic?

#3 Dr. Mercury (Link) on 2011-05-27 09:43 (Reply)

What kind of sick, twisted freak posts a shrimp video when there's jello wrestling in Antarctica to be studied?

#4 Big___Al on 2011-05-27 10:04 (Reply)

All those little shrimps turning treadmills = the next renewable energy craze.

#5 Texan99 (Link) on 2011-05-27 11:49 (Reply)

I'm optimistic now that the NSF will fund my study of jello wrestling shrimp which will result in a long-awaited breakthrough in the field of appetizo-dessertification.

#6 fiftyville on 2011-05-27 13:55 (Reply)

I'm not prawnophobic. But I can be a little shellfish sometimes.

#7 BlogDog (Link) on 2011-05-27 19:58 (Reply)

"The semis are passin' on the highway outside'
the four-thirty crowd is about to arrive.
There's no place that I'd rather be than right here..."

Anybody who don't know the words to "Rednecks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer" is borderline culturally retarded in some parts of the country. Shame some of you folks might not know that the secret of cookin' brats is soakin' 'em in PBR overnight before they see a bit of heat. Of course, the po' folks might be reduced to usin' Old Style.

Rob J

#8 Inbredredneck Redneck on 2011-05-27 21:44 (Reply)

"Off-white . . . sports coat . . .
And a pink crustacean"

#9 Texan99 (Link) on 2011-05-28 09:36 (Reply)

that poor shrimp is obviously in distress! how crewel (whoops that is a rug or some sort of eastern needlepoint) somebody please call PETA
/sark off
seriously the poor shrimp does want off the treadmill
and to what purpose is this experiment?

#10 missred on 2011-05-29 00:07 (Reply)

It's a "jumbo shrimp" and it needs to lose weight?

#10.1 Big___Al on 2011-05-29 17:31 (Reply)

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Friday, May 27. 2011

If I'd Known Government Spending Was Half This Cool, I'd Have Voted For A Tax Increase