Robin Hanson begins his piece of the above title, about "forager norms," thus:
Food isn’t about Nutrition
Clothes aren’t about Comfort
Bedrooms aren’t about Sleep
Marriage isn’t about Romance
Talk isn’t about Info
Laughter isn’t about Jokes
Charity isn’t about Helping
Church isn’t about God
Art isn’t about Insight
Medicine isn’t about Health
Consulting isn’t about Advice
School isn’t about Learning
Research isn’t about Progress
Politics isn’t about Policy
His conclusion: "We signal covertly and unconsciously because our ancestors were strongly punished for overt and conscious signals."
Signaling theory is interesting, but I do not accept the reductionistic notion that signaling is all that people do when they are together (I should say, neither does Robin H.).