What's the difference between wholesome obsessions, distractions, avoidances and diversions - and unhealthy ones? (I am not speaking clinically about obsessions and compulsions here, but just in the layman's sense of the words.)
The difference is in the purpose, not so much in the thing itself. The most common ones we all see in daily life are:
- TV, radio, and listening to music
- Shopping
- Reading
- Surfing the net
- Sports, exercise
- Sleeping and napping
- Socializing
- Hobbies
- Sex and erotic activities
- Computer games
- Drinking and drugs
- Work, chores, and projects of all sorts
- Mental preoccupations of all sorts
That covers most of life, doesn't it? Trust me - I am all in favor of fun and productivity. Not one of these things is necessarily unwholesome - except when they are used as avoidance of something or things. That usually - but not always - means when they are not done in moderation and in proportion.
Why do so many of us have our best thoughts and insights in the shower? Because we aren't doing any of those things in the shower...generally speaking.
Only the mentally strongest people - and I do not include myself in that category - routinely face their anxieties, worries and fears; routinely deal with every responsibility or burden immediately, or routinely face their relationships or the realities of themselves: their weaknesses, their guilts, their unsettling thoughts and feelings, their disappointments and sadnesses, regrets and remorse, boredom, loneliness, or empty feelings - or just "being with oneself."
There is an expression in AA: "Move a muscle, change a thought." It's good advice if one is avoiding a dangerous thought but it's bad life advice if one is avoiding thoughts that need to be considered and faced and maybe even acted upon.
If I decide on a Saturday nap after two hours of tennis in 90 degrees, fine. But if I decide on a nap (maybe without realizing it) because I am worried about paying the bills, not so fine.
Having kids is a great diversion and distraction. For years, it will fill your life with preoccupations and duties which have the advantage of being truly responsible and loving. But when they get older, you face yourself again.
Therefore, whenever I find myself immersing myself in something, I try to remember to ask myself why. That's not obsessive navel-gazing, it's just common sensical self-monitoring. "Metacognitive," as they say.
And when I drive, I try to leave the radio off - so I can listen to the real news about what is going on with me, my soul, and my life.
Otherwise, I'd be out of touch.
Photo is a 1923 Silvertone radio
Many neighbors still without power etc. At some point, it gets a little old. A hot shower is one heck of a fine thing. A few more of my storm photos were posted earlier today. You can get the phone co. to forward your regular phone to your ce
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