Note to self re knives at airports

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Thursday, June 12. 2008

Note to self re knives at airports

DO NOT accidentally carry your very favorite Spyder�penknife in your pocket when on your way to a flight. It ends up in the garbage can. Happened to me last time.

The garbagemen must have fun finding goodies in those airport cans. That was a $55 pocket knife.

I remember also getting hassled at Canadian Customs a couple of years ago as they rummaged through my luggage. "Any knives?" they asked. "Well, my Swiss Army Knife�is in there." This was a hunting trip. Big lecture about bringing knives into Canada, and they took it away from me. Good grief. But it was a rusty old one, and the essential beer bottle-top opener was rusted into the case.

It's a good thing they didn't find the sharpened grapefruit spoon I always travel with, in case I encounter a good grapefruit.

Posted by Bird Dog in The Culture, "Culture," Pop Culture and Recreation at 07:55 | Comments (14) | Trackbacks (0)

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You should have asked the Canadian customs guy: "Did you know you can beat a man to death with starter cables?"

#1 Jephnol (Link) on 2008-06-12 08:17 (Reply)

What?! Give over my stilettos?? Never! Do you think I would suddenly stab a stewardess or stick the stud next to me? These are my shoes do you see? I'm not some watery tart who punctures turtles in the pond for trivial Two-Step jollies.

#1.1 Meta on 2008-06-12 11:40 (Reply)

To the ancient masters, anything could be used as a weapon. Once, on a rather boring trip across the Atlantic, I took off my sock, filled it with two fists full of pocket change, tied a shoe lace to the end of it and started swinging it around over my head yelling, "Guess who I am! Guess who I am!" A man jumped up and yelled, "Air Marshall! Put down the weapon!" I shouted back, "Not even close! Guess again!" I don't really remember what happened after that....

#1.1.1 Jephnol (Link) on 2008-06-12 15:02 (Reply)

I had a friend who flew back to NYC from SF. He was in the middle aisle of a jumbo jet and in the center seat. He has sleep apnea and fell asleep to sleep the entire flight. He woke up to find himself covered in little pretzels and Chex Mix. Some were even stuck in his beard.

#1.1.1.1 Meta on 2008-06-12 17:22 (Reply)

If I were on that flight, I would have complained that your friend got a free meal and demand to be compensated.

#1.1.1.1.1 Jephnol (Link) on 2008-06-12 18:44 (Reply)

I think you are very reasonable. To be prepared for all things, including a good grapefruit, is part of our identity.

My heritage also includes the ever-present pocket knife., one of which has also been confiscated. The threat of my taking over a flight between Grand Junction and Denver was alleviated. I considered making the attack with my keys.

#2 Ed from Westslope on 2008-06-12 09:25 (Reply)

I like to carry a pocket knife in honor of the Good Church Lady who looked at me in 1984 and said, "Only Black men carry pocket knives."

#3 njartist49 on 2008-06-12 10:19 (Reply)

Well, I feel very special.... I bought a decorative letter opener in Scotland and had it in my bags for the return trip home. It was also confiscated but customs wrapped it up for me and it flew back home in the pilot's cabin.
Glad the pilot had no ill will for any of the passengers ....

#4 Liz on 2008-06-12 10:23 (Reply)

I left my trusty Swiss Army knife with bottle opener and corkscrew in a carry-on bag two weeks ago. TSA helpfully and carefully escorted me back out of the line to a kiosk where I could mail it to myself for $10. It's now lost. I essentially paid extra to have mine thrown away. But the flight was saved.

#5 Don Marchant on 2008-06-12 10:51 (Reply)

If security at airports was really about being effective and keeping the public cooperative and respectfull, the burger flippers turned watchdogs would have asked the airlines what they used to do before 9/11 when knives were encountered...they were illegal then too, y'know...and they would have found out that they either took the offending knife and secured it with the passengers name attached to it, to be returned upon request after arrival, or offer the passenger an envelope into which they could mail the item...but then, the experts in security theater who effectively created the post 9/11 coupe d'etat saw that they needed to be "tuff guys"..exactly the kind of gorilla mentality is drawn to security work..and why it would be so easy to foil if one has the inclination to do so. We should have insisted that illogical and pointless security measures be modified to reflect reality.

#6 doug l on 2008-06-12 11:35 (Reply)

Doug, was that a recently enacted regulation just before 9/11? I remember flying a couple of times earlier that year, with my pocket knife -- the only trouble I recall was in one case they were upset with me because the serrated blade was a no-no; however, I believe short straight blades were fine.

(But, then again, it's entirely possible that security was rather confident that I wasn't going to do any harm with it and they were being nice -- or even reasonable.)

#6.1 Nate on 2008-06-12 12:37 (Reply)

Or you can be charitable. I was rushing to the gate in Albuquerque and remembered I had my Leatherman Micra and an Old-Timer pocketknife on my (never leave home without them). I was passing a soldier in uniform and gave them to him figuring I'd rather they found good use through him rather than some tool shaking down passengers.

#7 James (Link) on 2008-06-12 12:35 (Reply)

You used to be able to buy TSA confiscated knives by the pound on eBay, but I just checked and didn't see many.

I've lost several knives to the TSA and lots of screwdrivers (my laptop bag always has some for working on equipment). The dumb thing is that these items are confiscated or missed so often that it isn't a big deal. It can't be a big deal because otherwise half the population would be in jail.

#8 Jack Diederich (Link) on 2008-06-13 01:33 (Reply)

The same thing happened to me coming out of China about 3 months ago. I had my oldest & favourite Gerber in my hand luggage by mistake. I had forgotten to put in in my suitcase that had been checked in.

DAMN DAMN DAMN

Thankfully I have two other identical Gerbers, but its just not the same is it?

#9 Mr Free Market (Link) on 2008-06-15 10:33 (Reply)

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Thursday, June 12. 2008

Note to self re knives at airports