Shape of Days says he has a Borderline Personality Disorder. He discusses his difficulties in life at length, in his links. Quotes:
People like me live in constant fear of abandonment. We are deeply distrustful. We don’t think you love us, or care about us, or even enjoy our company on a superficial level because we know how we are. We’re aware of it. We know we’re manipulative. We know we’re selfish. We know we’re mean and rude and all those things. By the time we reach our mid-20s, we’ve seen the same patterns repeat themselves over and over again. We know how we are, and we dislike ourselves. So naturally we assume that you dislike us, too.
We go through cycles, people like me. The eggheads call it idealization/devaluation. We start out by becoming swiftly and overwhelmingly attached to you. Maybe romantically, maybe platonically. We entrust you with our secrets, which are legion since we have so much to be ashamed of. We want you to entrust us with your secrets. We get close, fast.
At this stage, you can do no wrong. Literally. You’re perfect in our eyes.
But then something happens. Something totally normal. Probably something you don’t even notice. You say the wrong thing — what we define as “the wrong thing” — and it hurts us. We opened ourselves up to you. We made ourselves vulnerable. We trusted you, and you betrayed that trust.
and
We’ll probably go through periods of low self-esteem. This isn’t your garden-variety “Oh, I just don’t feel pretty today” stuff. We’re talking about legitimately low self-esteem. See, we really are bad people, by objective standards. We know this. We’re very much aware of this. So when we’re feeling down on ourselves, it’s not just self-pity to get attention. It’s very much the real thing. We’re unhappy with ourselves because we, as people, suck.
Editor's note: Heartbreaking, and so sadly self-consumed. And so talented. You want to say to him "You suck - compared to whom? Don't flatter yourself." But you know that won't help.
