Recreational Sex

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Tuesday, April 29. 2008

Is recreational sex a good thing? Good for whom? And how do I define "good"? Does our pop culture contain any sexual morals anymore? Are women naturally as sexually predatory and opportunistic�as some men can be? And what does "natural" have to do with it anyway, since we are humans, not monkeys?

Were I a smarter person, I'd have all the answers.

Anchoress on Prudery, Virginity, and Do-Me Feminism

And Harvey Mansfield reviews Hook Up or Shut Up

Posted by Dr. Joy Bliss in Our Essays, Psychology, and Dr. Bliss at 15:03 | Comments (55) | Trackbacks (0)

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One of my favorite authors when I was a young thing was Rudyard Kipling [now, sadly, not 'politically correct' enough for today's sophisticates.] In one of his poems, he said ... "Yes, I've taken my fun where I found it, And now I must pay for my fun, For the more you have of the many, the less you have of the one, And the end of it's sitting and thinking, And dreaming Hell's Fires to see, So be warned by my lot, As I know you will not, And learn about women from me."

Cogently put.

Marianne

#1 Marianne Matthews on 2008-04-29 15:28 (Reply)

MM,

Rudyard wasn't a stud.

He sounds pathetic in his poem;

I've taken my fun where I found it, And now I must pay for my fun, For the more you have of the many, the less you have of the one, And the end of it's sitting and thinking, And dreaming Hell's Fires to see, So be warned by my lot, As I know you will not, And learn about women from me."

Pitiful.

#1.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-04-29 19:34 (Reply)

QUOTE:

And what does "natural" have to do with it anyway, since we are humans, not monkeys?

A statement that stands all on its own.

#2 Dr. Merc on 2008-04-29 17:09 (Reply)

"And what does "natural" have to do with it anyway, since we are humans, not monkeys?"

Seems 'natural' to me that we humans do it. We have the drive and the parts for it. We just don't do it in trees or on the streets of Bombay. The results are the same - pleasure and babies.

#3 Meta on 2008-04-29 17:53 (Reply)

I think she means when and with whom.

#3.1 BD on 2008-04-29 19:25 (Reply)

Thanks, BD. So we're not like the bonobos that do it because it feels good. Good thing because those monkeys gave us the phrase, "Wild monkey sex." They boink all day long and don't care if it's a brother, sister, or cousin. They're into the feel-good. And the security. If you come across a concatenation of bonobos and yell, it scares them into instant mass monkey boinking. It calms them down. To them it's totally natural.

I'm glad to note we're above that licentiousness. Well, except for F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV. Nasty boy. Shame!

#3.1.1 Meta on 2008-04-29 20:42 (Reply)

As a young man in my 20's living in Southern California in the 1970-1982 period, before AIDS was everywhere, recreational sex was what we did. Predatory females? No one ever called a girl that. Hell, I remember the first time I was in a bar in Hermosa Beach when a good looking brunette walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to go do some, coke, smoke, and recreational f**king. Damn right replied a very healthy young man..so we did.

In that area of SoCal there were probably 60 bars within a 20 mile radius filled every night with Booomers in their 20's, all on the make. Life was good.

Now it's all STD's and AIDS and who knows what so those young kids who participate today are playing with fire.

But one thing we did back in the day was practice, practice,practice.....what a time. Do I regret any of it, hell no...getting old is, well getting old and now you must be wise, and warn the young..Ok young save it for that ONE special person. It will mean so much more.

#4 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-04-29 19:26 (Reply)

Ah, the Good Old Days!

#4.1 Dr. B. on 2008-04-29 21:17 (Reply)

Evans-Charles ... you missed the point Kipling was making. Tut--Tut. Too much non-stop boinking "back in the day" leads to failures in concentration. Now, pay attention. "The more you have of the many, the less you have of the one." Deep relationships do not emerge from drifting from one bed to another. Got to be some investment of self there -- listening, giving, paying attention. Old Rudyard knew that. Now that you're older, you probably do too.

Marianne

#5 Marianne Matthews on 2008-04-29 21:42 (Reply)

MM my love,

I caught Kipling's meaning. I was referring to the hedonistic, fornicating, bed hopping, no strings recreational sex of my youth. When you have that and experience the human sexual response with 300+ partners it's a nice experience. Certainly few if any had any expectations of romance. Many ,many times they would tell their friends to boff me because I was damn good. That was always a compliment..but it was a California experience that those in Peoria probably never, ever experienced. So sad, too bad.

Kipling looked back ostensibly with regret, feeling that his dalliances wasted his emotion to eventually attach to one person...too bad for him. I've been happily married for almost 25 years now with no aftershocks.

I will say that the human sexual response is a fascinating one, and I'm happy to have experienced it in the fullness of my youth. Now, I get to experience it with one woman, the same woman who balances the checkbook and pulls weeds in the yard for fun.
My youth was hardly waisted leeching emotion from me so that I'm now a Superfund cleanup site candidate. My youth was F U N....Kipling's is the one who developed into a headcase.

#5.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-04-30 00:28 (Reply)

It is a 'brave new world'... and none of us have the slightest clue as to how it will all end up. Though there are infinite opinions. Life progresses... we can stroll along with it, or not.

But, as MM mentions... there would appear to be some eternal 'truths' that need be learned over and over and over again. The 'twenties' ain't about learning though... they're about doing.

#6 Luther McLeod (Link) on 2008-04-29 21:53 (Reply)

One Generation Passeth Away, and Another Generation Cometh: But the Earth Abideth for Ever.

#6.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-04-30 00:42 (Reply)

Please bow your heads in prayer and acknowledgement:

Thus spake Zoroasshabu.

"But the Earth dry-humped for Ever."

#6.1.1 Meta on 2008-04-30 01:14 (Reply)

Acutally Meta that is from the Bible, Ecclesiastes 1:4., not from whomever you're speaking about while defaming the Scripture.

#6.1.1.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-04-30 13:51 (Reply)

What I wrote is not from the Bible, dumkoff.

#6.1.1.1.1 Meta on 2008-04-30 17:34 (Reply)

Thick as a brink Meta.

One Generation Passeth Away, and Another Generation Cometh: But the Earth Abideth for Ever. Ecclesiastes 1:4.

I certainly not referfering to your mocking offering of ""But the Earth dry-humped for Ever." as being from the Bible.

A case is certainly developing that you have no class whatsoever. Were you raised by gypsies?

#6.1.1.1.1.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 10:11 (Reply)

i wonder how many fathers of daughters would like to go back in time and kick the crap out of their younger self?

#7 buddy larsen on 2008-04-29 23:34 (Reply)

recreational sex wreck creational sex

#8 buddy larsen on 2008-04-30 02:29 (Reply)

possible Waco & FLDS news headline:

Sex Hex Vex Tex, Wrecks Sects

#9 buddy larsen on 2008-04-30 02:38 (Reply)

hey, GREAT word-plays! Thanks!

#9.1 buddy larsen on 2008-04-30 16:00 (Reply)

Public acceptance and celebration of "recreational sex" is a disaster for young women. Men are predisposed by their natures to have sex with as many women as possible, but the reverse is not true for women. Women who engage in recreational sex are likely to wind up jilted, depressed and cynical.

#10 Jonathan on 2008-04-30 12:04 (Reply)

"Women who engage in recreational sex are likely to wind up jilted, depressed and cynical."

And far wiser in finding the right guy who'll not cheat or feel the need to keep a c*nt conquest calendar.

#11 Meta on 2008-04-30 12:58 (Reply)

Meta sounds like she must be from Peoria, or perhaps Ottumwa, Iowa.

No calendars please, they are so yesterday and were cheesy to begin with. Just the mental replay to sharpen the performance for the next easy lover...no one was ever forced, they just enjoyed the cut of my ___, my sharp repartee, excellent company and pillow talk. Word gets around. You ladies talk.

#12 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-04-30 13:58 (Reply)

"I was referring to the hedonistic, fornicating, bed hopping, no strings recreational sex of my youth. When you have that and experience the human sexual response with 300+ partners it's a nice experience. Certainly few if any had any expectations of romance. Many ,many times they would tell their friends to boff me because I was damn good. That was always a compliment..but it was a California experience that those in Peoria probably never, ever experienced. So sad, too bad."

Ahhh............ Wondrous mental C*ck Conquest Calender there. 300+? Better? That entire paragraph of self-worship. I gather back in your stud days you didn't give a c*nt's ass about scripture.

Christ notes your hypocrisy, dream boy. We note who you are Evans-Charles - the same asshole who did wet work of another kind when the CIA asked your CO to 'give us your best psychopath' and they hired you.

#12.1 Meta on 2008-04-30 17:47 (Reply)

They needed someone effective and dispassionate. Sure the entire paragraph was a testimony to self confidence, I'll admit every bit of that. I've been there ,done that, and had a ball (pun intended) doing it.
What an adventure. And ya know Meta I was good, very good at everything I tried except being full of false modesty. But it's also curious that when tough things needed to be done they called my number and I got the mission done. Not a brag, a fact.
It may bother many who have lived lives of quiet desperation. See here it is Meta. TR said it best

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat

Too bad for those who never gave life a chance but did 9-5 duty their entire lives, went on vacation to DisneyWorld and just missed the real adventure..too, too bad....

#12.1.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 00:00 (Reply)

Meta,

You come across as being a bitter harpy, unfulfilled in life and jealous of those who have happy lives after doing fun work.

You really must guard against being so because it will make you, well what you've turned out to be, a fishwife; a coarse, scolding woman.

Now I must go practice dressage for the upcoming Grand Prix where I expect a solid performance from my horse, Renaissance, even though he needs work on his Versammlung..life can be a challenge.

All the best,
Evans-Charles

#12.1.2 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 00:33 (Reply)

You are so full of pretentious shit. No matter what you may have done. Any man that brags about it... ain't even. Always trying to live up to dad... is usually the reason. Mine was an a**hole. I follow in his footsteps.

#12.1.2.1 Luther McLeod on 2008-05-01 00:50 (Reply)

Luther,

As the saying goes, "it ain't bragging if you can do it".

Stop with the humble pie routine, it's tiresome and go back to doing the bug inspections or whatever it is you do.

Guard against jealousy, it's a soul destroyer.
Smile more and don't be sore that some have simply outdone you in the adventure living department. Really you're quite tiresome with your preaching.

Have a wondeful day.
Evans-Charles

#12.1.2.1.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 09:32 (Reply)

Ah yes... I love the fresh smell of hypocrisy. My being taken to task for use of the word s**t... when someone else, in the midst of glamorizing their sexual life, can say... "recreational f**king." without apparent condemnation from anyone.

So it would seem that gutter language is 'fair use' when employed by those of superior education in the service of relentless braggadocio, but somehow demonstrates a lack of education when otherwise employed by others. What unmitigated gall.

As to "it ain't bragging if you can do it"... yes, a phrase most often used by braggarts to justify their over-sized egos. And jealously... jealously of what? A person so in love with themselves that they can't restrain from attempting to convince everyone else why they should be as well. No thanks.

And 'bug inspections', 'being outdone' and adventure living'... funny. Today happens to be the fortieth anniversary of my first fire fight. We took two killed, and four seriously wounded in my squad, if I remember correctly. One of the men bled to death in my arms.

Though I�m sure you would be more impressed if the numbers had been 300+. As quantity appears to be very important to you, as evidenced in the amount of bullshit you spout.

#12.1.2.1.1.1 Luther McLeod (Link) on 2008-05-01 18:57 (Reply)

So it would seem that gutter language is 'fair use' when employed by those of superior education in the service of relentless braggadocio, but somehow demonstrates a lack of education when otherwise employed by others

That would be correct Luther, you're dismissed, now scurry off.

#12.1.2.1.1.1.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 19:36 (Reply)

No, you're the one dimissed... along with your infantile response.

#12.1.2.1.1.1.1.1 Luther McLeod on 2008-05-01 20:06 (Reply)

I read into your previous conversations and i find myself looking into invisible eyes of a cocky loudmouthed prick, who feels he is far smarter than others, hence, get a life off your computer, and stop arguing with children. It demeans your own intellegance when you delve into a conversation with someone who clearly has no idea what your point of view means. you should not let them get into your head so easily, but i know for a fact you think that's not true. but my friend it is more true than you will ever realize

#12.1.2.1.1.1.1.2 Esparamus Emotica Val'gresh (Link) on 2010-06-07 12:41 (Reply)

"Women who engage in recreational sex are likely to wind up jilted, depressed and cynical."

Well women have a special psychology that was best summed up by Sigmund Freud, who, at the end of a distinguished career uncovering many aspects of the human psychology remained vexed, and asked the famous question.

What do women want?

#13 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-04-30 14:03 (Reply)

My friends and sailing companions simplycall me, Evans-Charles. You may also do the same.

#14 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-04-30 14:06 (Reply)

Ya knows sex is a bit like snow, ya knows. Ya never know how long it will last or how many inches you'll get, ya know.

#15 Rico on 2008-04-30 14:10 (Reply)

Peoples attitudes have sure changed. Just spent some time helping clean up at an assisted living home for the elderly and found some serious "hookup" toys in the cupboards. Sheesh! Do not like to even think about it. heh. For young girls though, I do think the risks can be for real. Reminds me some of this song.

Leo Koettke-Louise

They said that Louise was not half-bad
It was written on the walls and window shades
And though she'd act the little girl
A deceiver, don't believe her, that's her trade

Sometimes a bottle of perfume, flowers and maybe some lace
Men brought Louise 10-cent trinkets
Their intentions were easily traced

And everybody knew at times she cried
Ah but women like Louise they get by

And everybody thought it kind of sad
When they found Louise in her room
They'd always put her down below their kind
Still some cried when she died this afternoon

Louise rode home on the mail train
Somewhere to the South I heard them say
Too bad it ended so ugly
Too bad she had to go this way

And the wind is blowin' cold tonight
So goodnight, Louise, goodnight.

Leo Koettke-Louise
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJ1ynrFzbyY&feature=related

#16 Patina on 2008-04-30 14:29 (Reply)

ah, blast from the past -- Leo Koettke --

"Put Your Arms Around Me, Like A Circle 'Round the Sun"

great song -- used to listen to it while courting my ex -- hmm... maybe i shoulda stood with "Purple People Eater" and "How Much is that Doggie in the Window?"

#16.1 buddy larsen on 2008-04-30 15:58 (Reply)

ha ha ha........ "How Much is that Doggie in the Window?" That's great. I can remember singing it out loud and when the dog barked, I'd really yell,

ew. Simple twist of fate, but my ex, tending to doggies purchased most often from behind windows, ended up making many of the owners bark.

aannnnnnh!

Thanks, Buddy. :[

#17 Meta on 2008-04-30 18:00 (Reply)

oops -- sorry -- oh well -- must be a FEW fond memories --right?

#17.1 buddy larsen on 2008-04-30 22:47 (Reply)

Some of you critics need to attempt to break away from your upbringing which obviously included foul mouth influences.

So far Meta has used C**t several times when pudenda would have done nicely.
The knight of all maids honor, Luther, likes to say sh*t.

It is so boring to read such uneducated tripe. Work a bit at crafting something worthy of the site and get out of the gutter. I was simply adding to the thread when several of you went quite childish. I know with great effort you can overcome what a lifetime of gutter language has taught you, Meta in particular.

Blessed be you all.

#18 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 09:43 (Reply)

Evans-Charles,

Brilliant defense from some unwarranted and misplaced attacks on your most interesting life. One can feel the envy from a dessicated Meta and an impotent Luther.

How are your later years treating you? Well I hope?

Jeb

#19 Jeb on 2008-05-01 11:24 (Reply)

HA HA HA HA HA......... Talk to yourself much, JEB- EVANS-CHARLES?

haahahahaahahahahahahahahah You are such a transparent asshole.

oops. Meta said a naughty word! ! ! ! hahaha

#19.1 Meta on 2008-05-01 12:17 (Reply)

I do believe if one went fishing for a Meta, bait would not be required.

#19.1.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 14:44 (Reply)

Evans-Charles, you are aware I'm sure that one always fishes for Meta in very shallow water.

All the best old man,
Jeb

#19.1.1.1 Jeb on 2008-05-01 15:00 (Reply)

Jeb-Evans-Charles,

How perspicacious of you! I am a beautiful woman, and no matter where I go, I am - most assuredly - bait.

I do throw most catches back, though.

#19.1.1.2 Meta on 2008-05-01 18:32 (Reply)

I wasn't sure you'd understand the nuance. My intuition proved flawless.

#19.1.1.2.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 19:46 (Reply)

Ahh, but your intuition did, indeed, fail you.

Why use bait when you are bait? I caught you hook, line, and sinker. ooooh, and it hurts so! :)

#19.1.1.2.1.1 Meta on 2008-05-01 20:27 (Reply)

I caught you hook, line, and sinker

Meta, the only thing I could catch from you would take Penicillin to treat

#19.1.1.2.1.1.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 20:55 (Reply)

Sigh... Jeb-Evans,

Read what's written. I caught you.

Oh! And threw you back.

#19.1.1.2.1.1.1.1 Meta on 2008-05-01 21:38 (Reply)

I am a beautiful woman, and no matter where I go, I am - most assuredly - bait.

Meta, anyone who reads this blog knows you have no class and are a foul mouth harpy. That is not the definition of a beautiful woman.

#19.1.1.2.2 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-02 07:28 (Reply)

A person so in love with themselves that they can't restrain from attempting to convince everyone else why they should be as well.

Luther , you dreadfully misunderstand. I pursue things in my interest as you do yours. But your opinion of me means nothing. You are but one of six billion people on this planet.

It would be ludicrious for me to tell you I care about what happens specifically to Luther or Guano in Africa or the billions of people I will never know, ergo I'm not attempting to impress anyone. I'm just relating parts of my life which, if you'll accept the advice, you will simply read and then turn the page.

I can't even feign sorrow that that is the way I feel. I don't wish you ill; I just don't think about your existence.

#20 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 20:50 (Reply)

"I just don't think about your existence."

Jeb-Evans,

Is your head up your ass? If you don't care about Luther's existence, why do you keep coming back to talk at him?

Idjut.

#21 Meta on 2008-05-01 21:41 (Reply)

I've talked with people all over the world, at airports, on ships,trekking etc...see Meta it's what we humans do . We often times talk to each other.

It doesn't mean we care about the person, it's just conversation.

I would remind both you and Sir Luther that I made a comment directed not specifically at either one of you to which both of you took some form of exception. That's fine, that comes with blogging. I do it too, but to leap from comment to caring is a chasm too broad to make successfully.

#22 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 22:41 (Reply)

Evan-Charles,

Some people are a bit thick wouldn't you say old chap?

#22.1 Jeb on 2008-05-01 22:44 (Reply)

Jeb,

Let's just say that the standard deviation from the mean is taking a beating.

#22.1.1 F. Evans-Charles Hawthorne IV on 2008-05-01 22:56 (Reply)

Too Funny -- thank you all for the repartee!

#23 buddy larsen on 2008-05-03 00:45 (Reply)

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Tuesday, April 29. 2008

Recreational Sex