We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
A guy walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer and lit up a smoke, he heard a soothing voice say, "Nice tie." Looking around, he noticed that the bar was empty, except for himself and the bartender at the end of the bar.
A few sips later, the voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man called the bartender over. "Hey, I must be losing my mind," he told the bartender.
"I keep hearing these voices saying nice things, and there's not a soul in here but us." "It's the peanuts," answered the bartender.
"Say what?" replied the man in disbelief. "You heard me," said the barkeep, "It's the peanuts. They're complimentary."
Imho, it’s sad how peanuts are used and abused so freely to give bar patrons cheap feel-goods. Too often the nuts are salted and unhealthy, not to mention the germs from dirty hands lurking in the bowls of gratis goobers that get consumed and damage the well-being of individuals who are only seeking some kind of respite from unkind life with a shot or two at the neighborhood tavern.
And what about people who are deathly allergic to peanuts, when one or two nuts or even a crumb fron one contaminates somebody's drink or pretzel bowl at the bar?
Complimentary peanuts on planes are also a travesty. They give passengers sitting in close proximity to one another really bad breath and desperate cravings for alcohol. Peanut-thirstied passengers subsequently drink and spill their life stories to strangers belted in next to them, unable to escape the unwanted intimacies and exhalations.
Worst of all, many peanuts bought in bulk these days by commercial establishments are imported from countries such as Communist China and are susceptible to being tainted with aflatoxin, Salmonella Stanley and other subversive pathogens. Clearly, “free” peanuts end up being not so free, as they compromise us, our physical and mental health, economy, and ultimately our national security.