We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Our Recent Essays Behind the Front Page
Monday, January 29. 2007
At Maggie's Farm, we plan to avoid discussing the primaries and the '08 election for quite a while. It is too far away to say anything meaningful - anything can happen between now and then. It's a waste of virtual paper and virtual ink, we believe, and thus damages our virtual planet.
Where is our News Junkie today? On a
Image: The Diebold Accu-Vote system, famously accurate when Dems win elections, but deeply flawed, corrupt, and hacked by Karl Rove when they do not.
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Har har--yes I too am in great demand as a male model. And good idea on the 08 coverage--I'm gonna ration my own exposure, as a matter of self-defense. Two years is just a little long to listen to the nonsense level demonstrated so far.
(2007-01-29) — A misunderstanding over remarks by former presidential hopeful John Kerry at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, has drawn swarms of camera-wielding paparazzi to the Massachusetts senator, forcing him to beef up his security detail.
The problem began after Sen. Kerry said that the United States has become an “international pariah.” However, gossip among news reporters in dozens of languages using the terms “pariah” and “Kerry” led some to think that the lanky Yankee was actually pop star Mariah Carey.
European fans clustered with the photographers, shouting out requests that Sen. Kerry sing Mariah Carey’s greatest hits like, “I Don’t Wanna Cry,” “Someday” and “Can’t Let Go.”
Am I to understand that Mr. Kerry dillied with Mariah Carey?
I think the take-away is that compared to Senator Kerry, Mariah Carey would be preferable as the President of the United States.
Pray tell, short of moving to Stink Wells, Montana and living in a yurt how does one escape the political bludgeoning we are facing for the next two years?
I admire your policy but when osama HUSSEIN obama makes his foreign trips and is photo opted firing a Katuska into Israel, Oy Vey, are we to just sit and kibbitz about Hyman Yankle?
Mr. Theocourdopolous, if I may ask, are you in association with Mr. Stavros Niarchos, among the field of Greek shipping magnates unmarried to American presidential widows? I ask as an inveterate "ship-in-a-bottle" modeller interested in VLCCs ('very larger crude carriers').
Dear Mr. Biggs-Peters, re your comment above re the probably immanent Democratic serving up of the state of Israel as a burnt offering to the Religion of Peace, might I interest you in this pertinent link?
(reference "CPIA, 1992-present")
Mr. Stavros Niarchos is a mutual friend of myself and Mr. Taki
Theodoracopulos. I will have my people contact his people with regard to your interest in buying a VLCC.
Ayez un beau jour,
J. Baptiste Hippolyte Taine
Secretary to S. Quinton Theocourdopolous
Dear Mr. Hippolyte Taine,
My deepest apologies for perhaps being somewhat unclear in the stating of my request.
To wit, although depending on price I might well be interested in the purchase of a previously-owned VLCC, as resident of the town of Alkali Waste, TX, I would have the other townspeople to consider, and I'm not certain that the citizenry would approve a USS Nimitz-sized unit dry-moored on my property, which in any case at 25'x75' is too small by some number of orders of magnitude.
I shall, however, canvas the other five trailers in order to explore the issue more fully. This, however, may have to wait until the dust storms abate in early July, as we are for the nonce stuck in our Airstreams with wet towels stuffed into the various seams and cracks.
In the meantime, perhaps an 8x10 "glossy", or even a 4"x5" matte, of one of your VLCC units would suffice to meet my immediate needs.
Your faithful correspondent.
It is I who owe the apology for misreading your missive. However we do have a craft that may serve your needs.
¡La buena suerte, no tiene un ataque del corazón!
Very funny. How did that "League of Nations" thing work out for ya, Coolidge?
HA! Just as I thought. And YOU got to be president! Stupid, revolting Americans.
Dear Mr. Hippolyte Taine,
Upon rcpt urs, have revised plans, and, yes, please send unit ASAP. Unit may locate me here http://www.theryanchronicles.com/Images/trailer_trash.jpg
I will, by ETA, have the place fully brightened-up, tin-foil ironed and replaced, plastic flowers hosed off and vased on banquette, and will even spring for fresh Dentu-Kleen, to be awaiting "all-smiles" as they say.
Very expectantly yours,
HEY, Hippolyte Taine, do NOT i order you, send that unit to larsen. Do You Know Who I Am? send it to me, but not anywhere near any ketchup. Davos would be perfect, but hurry, damn you.
Things that "were" problems but post-Nov 07 aren't:
3) official corruption
4) economy (now breaking to 'good')
5) House rules
6) Senate rules
7) Iraq (now both 'for' it AND 'against' it, via Petraeus 'good', surge 'bad')
8) gov't "policy"
9) cont'd, to be announced
10) makes list end on "ten"
Due to export levies I will be unable to provide the initial vessel we discussed. I believe I have located one on the island of Ibiza in the town of San Antonio at Club Es Paradís.
Please be on time for the initial "hoisting of the sail" and rigging party, 10:30PM, May 10, 2007. Ask for Gillette.
Taine--may I call you Taine?--fine, at this stage any twin-stack with a decent hull will do. Not as concerned about rust, wear & tear, etcetera as i was earlier. Please reserve current unit, as my resolve to complete this deal has stiffened considerably.
Got the hull in dry dock ready to rock wit you dude.
And yeah, you can call me Taine but in the Hip-Hop World they know me as Hip-T.
Chill'n in my crib,
If you don't mind the outpatient surgery, I can hook you up to a pontoon boat that will run off your own solid waste as a fuel source. It does a hefty 7 knots. Just stay in the harbor lest rough seas cause a gory disconnect between you and the fuel line. There are three fuel blends:
Basic: 30% Espresso, 30% Bakers Chocolate, 40% Frankfurter
Premium: 30:70 Blended Vivarin and Double Cheeseburgers
Ultra: 50:50 Amphetamine-Burger King Triple Stackers
I stick with the basic, for most of my sallying forth but sometimes Ill do the premium just to "clean things out" you know? Some people like to customize their blends and employ White Castle or Taco Bell. Some guys swear by it. To each his own, but I've really never found the need for it. Only the pros or the adrenaline junkies touch the ultra blend.
Ha ha--that's not really me--that's the smooth-tuned ppab engine rumbling, I can read it a mile away. But it's a great visual. i'll take the royalties as soon as Maggie gets around to it!