Bert and I: You can't get there from here.

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Sunday, February 5. 2012

Bert and I: You can't get there from here.

Remember when humor records were best sellers?

Everyone enjoyed The Firesign Theater, but I have not seen any weed for more years than I can count. Never inhaled. Shoes for Industry! Papoon for President! One organism - one vote.

Bert and I did downbeat Down East humor. Guys who can do that schtick are not uncommon, especially as aging alcoholic cooks in Maine hunting camps. Man, have I heard some good ones, spellbinding for a 30 minute absurd story, provided you keep the guy's glass full.

Uncle Ed and I will never forget the shaggy dog story of the kid who grazed a buck in an orchard up the road, and rode it home on his bicycle draped over the handlebars until the deer came to, and began pedaling the bike himself and rode it into the center of town. These stories fade from reality into fantasy so that you do not quite know where you are. Bert and I made famous the Maine response to the city folk in their fancy car who asked for directions from the farmer: "You can't get there from here."

Bob Bryant and Marshall Dodge made records of this sort of good stuff. Try a couple of the short samples here. You can buy them here.

Why is Maine "down east"? You should know by now. I will not explain it again.

Posted by Bird Dog in Our Essays, The Culture, "Culture," Pop Culture and Recreation at 13:19 | Comments (18) | Trackbacks (0)

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I remember my dad talking about Firesign T.
He said it was funny, but not why it was funny.
I think he was smoking pot.

#1 Ian on 2007-01-13 15:55 (Reply)

Yes, difficult to explain. Funny is not quite the right word. It's sort of an auditory movie.

#2 BD on 2007-01-13 16:07 (Reply)

Yeh--they were uproariously funny, but trying to explain surreal humor is like trying to describe color. You just have to experience it.

#3 buddy larsen on 2007-01-13 18:18 (Reply)

Anybody remember "Bob & Ray"?

#4 buddy larsen on 2007-01-13 22:25 (Reply)

Loved Bob and Ray, great reason to watch "Cold Turkey" to watch them playing Huntley & Brinkley.

And their sports commentary, "What a great competitor he was..."

#4.1 John the River (Link) on 2012-02-06 16:23 (Reply)

I enjoyed Firesign without artificial enhancement.

Bob and Ray never were my cup of tea.

The deer on the bike, however, was a Patrick McManus story. Ten or so years ago, there was a guy named Tim Behrens going around doing one-man shows with McManus' material; I saw two of them and enjoyed them immensely. The second video is available at McManus' website (I just checked)--I think you'll like it.

#5 Sam L on 2007-01-14 00:56 (Reply)

Oh McManus has a website? HOOORAY! When we were first married and did not have much in the way of entertainment, we would read out loud one McManus story per night! THank you!

#6 apple pie on 2007-01-14 01:44 (Reply)

Oh geeze, come on the'a Bud. Now what's a down east anyways? Ova' he'a we know a followin' wind might get ya' the'a fasta', but it's a sad fact, ya' know, that ya' can't get the'a from he'a.

#7 Jephnol (Link) on 2012-02-05 13:41 (Reply)

For some reason, I remember Chicagoland as a sort of epicenter of this kind of humor record. It wasn't until I moved there that I heard Cheech and Chong's Big Bambu. A few years later, having moved once again, a friend from Chicago introduced me to Firesign Theater and another group called The Conception Corporation.

I don't remember who did this one, but one of the funniest bits was a football half time show where "The band is forming a giant uterus and moving out from the center is a Dixieland combo signifying the theme of our half time show, The Birth of Jazz."

#8 Steve C. on 2012-02-05 13:54 (Reply)

Ahhh!!! Nick Danger, Third Eye!

Danger: "I didn't hear him enter, but my nostrils flared at his scent. Pyramid Patchouli. There was only one joker in LA sensitive enough to wear that scent... and I had to find out who he was..."

Rocky: "Good evening, Mr. Danger. I'm Rocky Rococo."

Danger: "Thanks, Half Pint. You've saved me a lot of investigative work!"

Rocky: "Maybe yes... Maybe now... Do you know what this is?"

Danger: "I had to think. What cruel game was he playing? That's a brown paper bag."

Rocky: "That's correct. Do you know what this is?"

Danger: "That's easy! That's a pickle."

Rocky: "Right. Then I think you're ready for this!" [metal tinkles]

Danger: "That's nothing but a two bit ring from a Cracker Back Jox!."

Rocky: "I'll sell it to you for $5000!"

Danger: "What kind of a chump do you take me for?"

Rocky: "First class."

Danger: "That tarnished piece of tin is worthless!"

Rocky: "Not to Melanie Haber!"

Danger: "Melanie Haber??"

Rocky: "You may remember her as Audrey Fauber."

Danger: "Audrey Fauber??"

Rocky: "How about Betty Joe Bioloski??" [organ music]

Anyway. Nick Danger was a classic! Thanks for reminding me of it.

#9 mudbug on 2012-02-05 14:07 (Reply)

Tim Behrens tours; see website here:

http://www.mcmanusplays.com/

Also, Pat is writing mysteries (4 that I've read aloud to my wife, when I wasn't convulsed with laughter at the text) about Sheriff Bo Tully of Blight County, Idaho. See

http://www.patrickfmcmanus.com/index.html

#10 Sam L. on 2012-02-05 14:43 (Reply)

buddy my friend ... I fondly remember Bob and Ray. They were pioneers in that kind of out-of-focus humor that Mike Nichols and Elaine May also did so well.

Marianne

#11 Marianne Matthews on 2012-02-05 15:31 (Reply)

Marianne, New Englanders of a certain vintage had the good fortune to see Narragansett Beer ads with Nichols and May on TV broadcasts of Red Sox games. Unfortunately, my favorite 'Gansett ad is not on YouTube, but these will do just fine.

Given the dismal record of the Sox at the time, one could say the 'Gansett ads were better than the games. Certainly a beer ad featuring Nichols and May is more memorable than a baseball game featuring Gary Geiger, Lou Clinton, and Carroll Hardy in the outfield.

#11.1 Gringo on 2012-02-05 17:33 (Reply)

Ah, Bert and I. My parents had the first album, and I have 3 tapes. Several Christmases ago I sent a Bert and I CD to my Mainer brother [from away, not a native Mainer.]. You can also purchase Bert and I material from the first link Bird Dog provides, at the FIRST here, from the Islandport Press: it's not just for viewing.

#12 Gringo on 2012-02-05 17:14 (Reply)

"And here's our next contestant on You Catch It, You Keep It. What's your name, Bob?" uh-h-h-h. "It starts with a 'B', Bob."

"OK, are you ready to try for our next prize? It's a GRAND PIANO!" uh, yeah.

I paraphrased the above from FT. I suffer from CRS syndrome, but somehow I can remember most of that skit.

Lived in Topsham for a while in the 60's; there were people I worked with at the Pejepscot Paper Company that thought it was funny to offer driving directions to the "sports" like, 'Go 90 miles that way and take a left.' or 'You can't get there from here.' Didn't those come from a Bert & I record?

#13 Steve in CT on 2012-02-05 19:19 (Reply)

Good of you to provide the link, BD.

Unfortunately, since I brought a Kindle, I can't use it.

Over the years I've purchased a number of songs and other recordings as MP3's and stored them on my computer until listening to them or transferring them to a player or PDA. However, since buying the Kindle, Amazon will not give the the option of buying and downloading MP3 anymore. The ONLY option that I have on their site now is delivery to my Kindle for ALL digital material.
Since I have already found out that any ebook I want to read is more expensive than the DT version, new or old releases. Since Christmas I've bought three actual books that were hugely cheaper than the Kindle edition of the same item. The Kindle has turned out to be a huge disappointment, especially if I have to shut it off and de-register it so I can order MP3's delivered how I want them delivered again.

#14 John the River (Link) on 2012-02-06 16:37 (Reply)

John,

I just downloaded my first tune from Amazon last night to my computer, and it didn't insist upon my Kindle. Have you tried to talk with them? (Did I say 'talk'? Hard to do.)

Have you checked into the eBook forums on how to download other stuff to the Kindle? Here are some eBook sites:

http://www.planetebook.com/
http://www.gutenberg.org/
http://mashable.com/2010/12/15/amazon-kindle-quick-start/

I realize my Kindle Touch has its place, but I'm waiting for the iPad 4 for a more capable tablet; should be out by next winter. The one allegedly on the way this spring has been referred to iPad 3.5, and is not expected to be a major revision.

#14.1 Steve in CT on 2012-02-06 20:56 (Reply)

Perhaps the difference is that I bought the Kindle Fire instead of the Touch.
The Fire being a multi-media capable tablet, color, stereo, so forth, may make the difference.
I always used to be able to buy and download MP3 files from Amazon.

Talk? To Rai? I've emailed back and forth a few times. Their response didn't alter by more than enough syllables to show me that the response wasn't coming from a computer AI.
This is TO ENHANCE your experience, YOU WILL enjoy faster service, resistance is FUTILE.
Also, they have turned ONE-TOUCH buying on for their site, I've have never used one-click and had it turned off. They refuse to turn it off for the Kindle, to "enhance my experience".
The Kindle Fire's touch screen interface is seriously flawed, often I have seen it activate keys that I never touched. Amazon has done more to destroy my interest in being their customer with the Kindle then anything else that has happened in the last ten years.

#14.1.1 John the River (Link) on 2012-02-07 00:14 (Reply)

http://maine-matters.blogspot.com/

Loved Bert & I. Particularly the skit about Moody's Diner..

#15 Mike (Link) on 2012-03-28 04:55 (Reply)

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Sunday, February 5. 2012

Bert and I: You can't get there from here.