We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
There is a thing called "complicated grief," but I feel all grief is complicated. I do not believe that grief ever heals.
I think griefs scab over, but it doesn't often take much to knock off the scab. A long-term incapacitating depression after a loss is another matter, but I do not even think that a lengthy mourning is pathological. There is a lot of pain in life. It's part of the deal.
I suffered a loss 39 years ago that still feels like it happened just yesterday. The effects have been profound.
You learn to deal with it, but it never goes away. It's always there just under the surface and sometimes the littlest thing can trigger it - a song, a photo, an aroma, a place.
There have been times when I see someone someplace and for just a moment I see not that person, but the person I lost. When that happens, the grief hits with the force of a hammer. It may last for but a moment, but it hurts just as much as it did 39 years ago.