65 above zero (F):
Floridians and Arizonians turn on the heat.
People in Upstate New York plant gardens.
60 above zero:
Californians and Arizonians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Upstate New York sunbathe.
50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Upstate New York drive with the windows down.
40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Upstate New York throw on a flannel shirt.
35 above zero:
New York city landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Upstate New York have the last cookout before it gets cold.
20 above Zero:
People in Miami all die.
Upstate New Yorkers close the windows.
Zero:
Californians and Arizonians fly away to Southern Mexico.
People in Upstate New York get out their winter coats.
10 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Upstate New York are selling cookies door to door.
20 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Upstate New York let the dogs sleep indoors.
30 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Upstate New Yorkers get upset because they can't start the snow-mobile.
40 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops.
People in Upstate New York start saying...'cold enough fer ya?'
50 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Upstate New York public schools will open 2 hours late.
