Maggie's Farm

i have way too much stuff, and so do all my relatives, BUT: for Christmas I still think there's a place for giving a few carefully chosen things that complement a person's hobbies, that perhaps they might not spring for themselves. Or lighten the workload in their daily life. I actually was really happy with BD's maligned material things like the vacuum I got one year, or the freezer or the on-sale sauna my family all banded together to get after I injured my knee. Likewise, I don't know anyone in my extended family who would turn down a tech toy (camera, computer, new phone, Kindle or other fun gadget). All the rest of the year skinflints who bring leftovers to the office for lunch, eat home cooked meals, save money, my family are very materialist at Christmas. Some families I know spend thousands of dollars paying illegal immigrants to do work they could do themselves housecleaning, gardening, looking after their kids. Then sermonize about not being materialstic as they fly off somewhere exotic for Christmas. To each his own...
I think even small things can be nice presents: extravagant Smartwool socks for the hiker in your life (cool patterns just for fun) that never give you blisters, and that dry quicklyon vacations travelling light. Or a set of good quality merino long underwear ditto for someone who cross country skis and hikes when it's 10 below. Or a Kindle for a reader, so they don't have to squint at their smartphone or lug 20 pounds of books around on vacation. Or the exact lens or camera a photographer in your family REALLY wants but restrained themselves from getting. But here (as with guns, and other serious hobbies) you have to be specific as no substitutes will be right.

The problem with giving "experiences" is that they often force the person to do something you think they should do or they can be insulting "work out with this personal trainer i hired" might be taken by some as 'I think you are fat and out of shape and won't love you unless you change'. Even at the most optimistic, you can only hope that they would like them. And it's risky surprising people. Sometimes they have something else scheduled on the day you went to the great trouble getting them scarce tickets for something wonderful. Or they simply don't have time for the class you think they would love. I've had minimalist relatives give me three "experiences" in the last two years and been unable to use any of them (because of a very stressful life with things I can't change in my schedule--now this is different if the person doesn't work or is their own boss and can do what they want, when they want.)
The absolutely WORST gift is the charitable gift in one's name. This is simply the giver virtue signalling at your expense. Like stores asking you to contribute $3 for the kiddies whose parents don't buy them health insurance that the store will then get kudos for giving money for hospital care for...

I like home made gifts best. Hand knit scarves with missing stitches that were made with love. How many people love us enough to spend time on us nowadays? Not many....Despite my greedy love of tech toys, I would honestly like best to receive the kind of book of vouchers my kids used to give me when in elementary school that said thing like "good for one hour of help weeding in the garden" or "redeemable for one hour help cleaning a closet" or "will wash the dog after she gets skunked" or some such. Because what I really need is help with everyday chores more than some fancy outing or "experience". Love is more about the mundane than the extraordinary, imho...