Maggie's Farm

Zach, you little shit, you are in over your head here. You have never been punched in the face, much less feared for your life. You've never had to fight someone over a gun, or had to point or shoot a gun to save your skanky ass.

Because I am white and have to arrest a black man because he has broken the law, and he resists and I have apply force to effect the arrest, then I am biased and racist? Hard to judge how much force to apply when one is getting one's ass kicked. The guy beating my ass; he don't have to think about such things. I'm telling ya, it's freakin' Bizzaro World out there.

When I get called to provide police service, "it is if it is the voice of the Chief of Police has ordered you to do so." My Chief is a black man. Chew on that rag. I can't not go. To refuse service would get me fired. I don't pick my clients. They pick me.

Maybe you should become a police officer and do your best to be a smarmy little sweetheart and sort out dirty laundry in the 'hood. You will get a quick anthropology lesson. And it might just be upside yo' head.

TRIGGER WARNNG TRIGGER WARNING TRIGGER WARNING
A hint of sex, no violence and some crude language.

This happened to me once, just before I was trying to take a break to eat my little dinner. A domestic call. I get sent to the 'hood, a hard little apartment, one of many similar provided by the gov't. Fish frying in a black cast iron skillet, sizzling and popping in Crisco, I saw the can on the counter. Looked like some fried okra and mashed potatoes too. Man, it looked good and smelled good too. A slender black man in blue work pants and jacket had answered the door. "Yes, sir," I said, "who called?" The man said he had made the call and that he had a little problem. I asked him what his problem was and he told me, "she won't jump." Now, I ain't a rocket scientist or brain surgeon, that much is obvious but I has a tad of common sense, and I had no clue. After a minute I am made to understand that the wife will not have sex with him. "She won't give up the pussy," he says. Now I want to laugh, but I am not incredulous, and I can keep a straight face. It is a necessity in this job. I am used to inanity, but this is new to me. I roll that over in my mind. I tell him, "she doesn't have to. That is her pussy and she can do what she wants with it." He smokes that over. He says, "Mr. Officer, there ain't nothing you can do?" I told him that that was just the way it is and if I had to come back I was going to have to take him to jail. He was not happy but he understood because I didn't have to go back.

Now, if you take this level of consciousness, add a little alcohol, a pint of blood spilled on the walls and floor, handy weapons like scissors, kitchen knives and hot grease, you can make a real mess. My Momma raised me to have manners, and be a good boy, say Yes Sir, and No ma'am. Nothing in my upbringing or experience prepared me for this. All on the job training. The police academy never told you everything that was gonna happen, and a lot of what they did tell you was fictional.

No violence in this story. Only provided as a Public Service Announcement. Could have been violence if Mama in the apartment had decided to scald somebody with the cooking oil. Believe me, it happened every day. Sounds medieval, doesn't it? Well it certainly is, and a day's work could involve what you would consider "Day's of Yore." Don't be so quick to judge us boys in blue.

Just like talking to to poor horny guy that weren't gonna get none, you gots to be crude sometimes and reduce yourself to another level. Ain't really fun but you get used to it. Got to put another day on that pension. Good manners and polite will just take you so far. It is a different world.

And believes me, if you are white and the perp is black, nobody makes a case for the black man to have committed a racist act when he throws a brick in your face.

You need some real life experience and get out of that little stuffy room you sit in with those other little pricks and copy and paste all day. You get paid to do this, right?

You want to change the world? I kind of hope you get to do so. You, as Uncle Joe, say, are a "useful idiot." When they are done with you, the maggots will devour your flesh "just as shore as shit stank." That's a quote from the 'hood. Don't hear that kind of talk in the high priced neighborhoods. But, as for the facts of life, you can lean a lot from the adages and wisdom from the old folks there that have survived.

Now, I got things to do. Go back to your room for a little quiet time, smoke a reefer and set your mind free. And copy and paste your next arguments from today's play sheet.