Maggie's Farm

"the men who leave their children behind"

A friend of mine grew up without his father. He and his two brothers were raised by their mother and from what I could see she did a fine job. He said they never heard from their dad although they did know he paid child support. When he was in his late 20's his dad died and one of the things he left his children was a box with letters, cards and gifts that his dad had sent to the three boys but had been refused or sent back by their mother. He read every card and opened his gifts. He said he was overcome with sadness and anger and it ruined the relationship he had with his mother for the rest of her life.

My brother-in-law married and had two boys and later was divorced and remarried. He really tried to spend time with his children but his ex put restraining orders against him and her new boy friend would pick a fight with him when he went to visit. He would get stopped for a simple traffic violation and be hauled off to jail for failure to pay child support when in fact it was paid and up to date. He finally had to stop visitation just to prevent one more excuse for her to file a complaint.

Some 30 years ago I used to shoot pool at a local bar. One of the regulars was a women who would often come in with her husband. She decided to divorce him and her lawyer insisted that she get a RO, change the locks and wanted her to accuse him of abuse of her and the children. Coincidently another regular was a divorce lawyer sitting at the next bar stool who volunteered that was standard practice for all his contested divorces especially if there was a retirement or assets involved.

When my son's marriage began falling apart his wife was staying out and cheating on him. Not surprisingly this created a "situation" at home. She dealt with it by calling 911 and accusing him of hitting her. She would even scratch herself or rip her blouse to provide "evidence" of abuse. My son would leave the apartment and wait outside for the police (it's a big mistake to leave because then they never here your side) and tell them what happened. He was never arrested for this so apparently the police saw through the charade. I had to tell him to leave and not go back. Yes, I know, I was sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. But I simply pointed out that it was over and sooner or later he would go to jail and that she was "broken" and he couldn't fix her (she was bi-polar).

There are millions of men with similar stories. Things aren't always as they appear.

An aircraft carrier is the world's largest military target. This is why they are only deployed with half a dozen other ships to support and defend them. Not saying they are defenseless but that they are such a important target that they need all the defense they can get. Small carriers would need the same defense but not provide the same capabilities as the larger carrier. Probably we could make use of a couple smaller carriers but that has yet to be proven.