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Tuesday, February 14. 2017

Is love an emotion?

Rethinking Love - Is love an emotion?

It depends on how obsessionally one wants to categorize mental states and attitudes, or whether one wants to categorize such words at all. I would certainly consider "desire" to be an emotion, as I would the crazy condition of being "in love." Those are wonderful kinds of insanity, but, however intense, tend to be fleeting when reality intrudes.


I think of "love" not as passion but as an enduring attitude of positive appreciation and attachment, with varying degrees of emotional dependency. Anyway, words are crude tools to apply to all of the ambiguities and ambivalences that relationships consist of.  I just feel fortunate that there are so many people in my life who I want to hug when I see them.

Posted by Dr. Joy Bliss in Psychology, and Dr. Bliss at 13:18 | Comments (4) | Trackbacks (0)

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Sandra and I have been married for almost 31 years. It was a second marriage for both of us, and we had between us nine (9) kids under the age of 14 when we married. Needless to say, it has been an interesting 31 years. :-)

Early in our marriage, Sandra expressed a bit of puzzlement at how often I would tell her that I loved her; it was not something she was used to, and she found it a bit unnerving. She asked me why I loved her so much, and I listed all the things I loved about her. She countered, "But what if those change? Will you still love me?"

I pondered that for a while, then came back and told her, "I love you because I choose to love you. And I will always choose to love you." And she found that very comforting.

As our own kids reached adulthood, and they sought advice on dating and marriage, I told them: "Love is a daily choice. Whatever wonderful qualities your partner has, you have to choose each day to love him or her. That's how you make love last."
#1 bfwebster (Link) on 2017-02-14 14:11 (Reply)
Years ago, Marriage Encounter taught "Love is a decision." I have found that strengthening.
#2 Assistant Village Idiot (Link) on 2017-02-14 15:15 (Reply)
We choose to love. We cannot choose to cease loving.
#3 blondi on 2017-02-14 20:02 (Reply)
Love is to will the good of another and that is how Christians are able to keep the command to love thy neighbor (and thy enemy). Yes, love is a choice, not a feeling.
#4 L.B. on 2017-02-15 20:18 (Reply)

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