We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Thank YOU, dear Friend and Investor! We are pleased to do business with you... I am sure you will find our stock very much to your liking: We have some fine children, ready for your dispensational needs. Take a look at some of these beauts. Delicate little things. They can crawl right inside a cool oven and scrub it down without even wetting themselves! How many times have you tried to get all those dirty bits out of your oven, thinking, "if only I had a small, pliable infant! The job would be a piece of cake!" And let me tell ya something else, guys....The lye only TENDERIZES them. Yeah, that's right. DUAL USE BABIES. Once you've had them clean your oven, you can bake those succulent little tykes in that very same, sanitized oven, knowing that the fork tender little so and so is both CLEAN AND DELICIOUS!! Not many companies will back that claim up, now will they? Oh no, my good man, No indeed!
I think, good sir, that once you've tried our Multi-use children, you will WANT to sell that cow and invest in some really fine beans. We're talking Golden Goose, Golden Ovaries, Golden Eggs, Singing Harp and the whole nine yards. The pair of children you saw in our link will only set you back 10 000 $US, cashiers check or wire transfer. We will leave that up to you.
Many years ago, I heard a story where a guy got spam email from two different Ethiopian crooks. He got them both to meet him at the airport in Ethiopia - but he got the description of one of the crooks when he said he would meet them and gave that description to the second crook so they were going to meet each other. Then he called the cops about the meeting.