We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
An airplane is just a crappy bus, and my Greyhound days are over. For long flights, I need an airplane with a gym on board. I've joked about wanting planes with swimming pools,but an upstairs gym would do me a lot of good on a plane. The only reason I hate long flights (ie over 4 hours) is my physical restlessness. I am not a good sitter, I do not enjoy movies except for ten minutes. I don't do video games. I have no real paperwork to do outside the office. I don't mind reading a book for 30 minutes but after that I need to do something for a while. Plus I am prone to a mild Restless Leg Syndrome on airplanes so I would rather stand up. And don't tell me I am supposed to sleep.
I am not asking for a weight room, just some cardio machines, some light weights, some floor mats, some hard and soft boxes, some bars for pull-ups, etc. Simple but with room to move. Charge me extra. Maybe a shower too.
On our upcoming flight, we are going First Class thanks to the gift of miles from my in-laws. Still I'd take a gym over the bigger seat and the legroom - because I am not a sitter. As for airplane food, regardless of class, no thanks. Grab a sandwich or a yoghurt in the airport. And they toss you this crap as if you were some starving dog in a dog shelter.
When I told my trainer about this desire for airplane gyms, he emailed me the below. I think that flight was wasted without a girlfriend or wife to spice it up. This dude is a jackass:
I don't like to fly; I've done it twice in 20 years. But I would love the chance to just sit down for 6 hours and do nothing but read. That hasn't happened since before I had kids.
Have had a couple of bad flights on package trips where the inconsiderate bitch (and they were both female) in the seat in front of me hit the "recline" button to full tilt and left it for most of the flight. On one flight, had to ask daughter - seated on the other side of the aisle - to get the bitch to raise her seat so I could eat (which she did ungraciously and kept asking when she could re-recline, even though she was roaming about the cabin a fair bit). Got off that flight with legs like tree trunks from inability to move them. Now we are purchasing better seats, for health reasons.
Otherwise, a long flight isn't bad. Have books, have needlework, have a chance to finish the Christmas gifts I haven't managed to get under control. Have a chance to relax. And, since I can't power up the phone, have no one urgently requiring me. In these days of instant and constant communications, that's a real treat.
A friend gave me a pair of the free pajamas from one of her many flights on Australian Airlines. They were designed by someone named Morrisey, and they are the most silken featherweight pj's I've ever owned. I wore them until they literally wore out.
I was one of two passengers on an Eastern Airlines L-1011 from Newark to Miami once. That was fairly pleasant.
We were upgraded to first class so the stewardesses wouldn't have to walk so far, got two steak dinners.
There was also a dead-heading pilot who couldn't explain how a jet engine worked. I asked why it didn't just blow out the front as well as the back. He apparently didn't see the problem.
The Germans did. That's why the buzz bomb had shutters.
The true explanation can be given in one word, leverage.
Only good seat in an airplane is the left front seat. Best view, best seat mates, least crowded, and if anything interesting happens, you get to deal with it. Sat in it for many younger years. Was always as miserable as Bird Dog in any other seat.
