We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
I often mistype Marital as Martial. Freudian typos? It's an impossible job, but sometimes highly gratifying and always interesting. I enjoy doing it when I get a chance to. Generally speaking, as a therapist you fly by the seat of your pants but it's never dull. I have even done couples therapy with gay guys. Never a dull moment.
I actually did this in my manuscript of "The Art of 'Ware" (M&T Books, 1995), a reinterpretation of Sun Tzu as applied to developing and marketing technology. In it, I had the following passage:
In his ninth chapter, Sun Tzu talks about how a general needs to deal with terrain, read the enemy, and govern troops. As one Chinese commentator said of a 5th century B.C. general, “His civil virtues endeared him to the people; his marital prowess kept his enemies in awe” (The Art of War, James Clavell, ed., p. 49). Not a bad model to follow.
Fortunately, my copy editor caught that. Thought it would have been pretty funny if she hadn't.
Consider "Love and Respect" by Eggerichs (esp for you faith-based traditional marriage folks out there) and "Passionate Marriage" by Dr. Schnarch (esp for you folks struggling with bad things you picked up via your own parents). Peace, db
Man or woman there are but a few questions to answer:
1. Would you be better off staying in the marriage or getting out of it?
2. Is the problem/issue fixable?
3. Are you still in love and want to stay?
Then make a decision and follow the steps to make it work.
I have recently begun dating a counselor/therapist. I'm a pretty smart guy, but I may have met my match. She's a pretty smart girl. I don't worry that she is analyzing me, however, because I like and am confident in who I am. Or I am dim. Doesn't really matter which.