Maggie's Farm

This problem is going to become more and more important as we move to universal subsidized and government health care. This is how most countries with socialized health care balance their budget; by not treating people past a certain age or with certain conditions. Ironically it makes perfect sense, why spend/waste money on a medical case that can't be helped. Now ask yourself why spend money on children born with serious debilitating illnesses like the Zika caused Microcephaly. They will never improve or be self sustaining. Look at all the serious diseases of children that this new medical philosophy. Instead of first do no harm it becomes first don't spend any money. You could literally save billions perhaps trillions by identifying babies as they are born that will be a drag on the budget. After all why stop at the old and infirm. Maybe even those with low IQs or social tics that just don't fit in. I'm surprised no one has ever come up with this before...

In the last 7 years my father and mother in law passed away with terminal lung cancer as did my wife's ex mother in law and her brother and sister. My wife took care of her father for the three months in which he was unable to take care of himself before he passed. She and her sister cared for her mother in the two weeks she lived after symptoms became debilitating. My wife's mother in law was cared for by our son. What I learned was that the pain medication is extremely effective. My father in law simply wore a patch on his back (where he wouldn't be able to reach it) and he was pain free. He was bed ridden and needed help to use the bathroom or to bath but he was pain free stayed in his home and had visitors, family and friends and was able to remain positive until the last 36 hours where his health deteriorated to the point he was mostly sleeping. I was close to all of these people as their passed and was surprised by the relative peacefulness of it all. All five passed as a result of the cancer reaching their brain and eventually causing critical body functions to fail. All five passed without pain and in the end without awareness, simply lying there apparently asleep.

I can remember as a child having family members die at home. An Uncle when I was 5 or 6, my grandmother when I was 13. They lived with us and one day they were here and the next they were not. It is difficult to talk about or think about. But I have to repeat I am surprised at how peaceful and pain free it was for these people I knew and cared about.

None of this is something to recommend it but merely an acknowledgement that it is not as bad as can be imagined. Perhaps dying peacefully in your home, in your own bed without pain and reasonably lucid is as good as anyone can hope for. All received hospice care at home, medication delivered by UPS and nurse visits every other day. Family members caring for them and time to see family and friends.

The ex-mother in laws brother passed 2 weeks after being diagnosed with stage 4 lung and brain cancer. He was ambulatory and refused treatment. He lived alone in a small trailer and when he passed he was alone and apparently simply went into a coma and died. Never took even pain medication. Such is the 'crap shoot' of cancer in the brain. In some ways I think he was the luckiest; first to not even know he had cancer and go through months to years of fighting it and dealing with it and second he was functioning until the moment he was not and passed quickly.

I know, having received the news myself sitting across from my doctor, that hearing you have cancer is devastating. It is so different from hearing that a friend or relative has cancer. It is so much more personal and difficult to wrap your mind around. It takes time to adjust too the reality of it and to learn what to expect. I can only say that having watched my father in law fight it for years and live his life as well as possible for those years and stay positive and strong gave me great courage and pride and I resolved I would do the same. I have looked death in the face and although I'm not ready for it I am ready to meet it face to face and be strong in spite of my fears.