Sooner or later, most of us are faced with helping make plans for elderly relatives who can't quite manage life any more in their own dwelling, whether because of medical problems and risk, or because of non-severe disabilities.
Mrs. BD and I have been moving her parents into an "Independent Living Senior Community" over the past month. (Ros Chast calls these places The Place, but I call them Old Folk's Homes.) Their new place is a one-bedroom apartment in a Senior complex in a suburban area less than a half-hour from us. The apartment is small, but they get the run of the place with its dining rooms (with 2 fireplaces), library (with fireplace), theater, patios, gym, meeting rooms, outdoor walking paths, etc. Their apartment has a small kitchen, large fancy bath, and a terrace to outdoors. You get three good meals, weekly cleaning and laundry, 24-hr handiman and 24-hr RN on duty. There are music concerts, movies, and good lectures all the time, religious services, plus of course Bingo and Mah Jong and all that. You can keep your car there, or they will drive you anywhere within 15 miles - included. That's all - no personal help unless you hire it on your own (which some residents do). These places are costly, but not necessarily a lot more costly that the cost of running and maintaining one's own home.
The next step, if needed, is Assisted Living. Assisted Living places often have specialized Dementia sections.
And then there are nursing homes, aka Skilled Nursing Facilities. Nobody ever wants to need those except temporarily to recover from something.
