Maggie's Farm

We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.

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Saturday, March 18. 2006

Free Boob Job with New Credit Card: Double D for the Four B's

Hey, Gals!!! College Freshman this Fall?

The guys will be ready and drooling, waiting for some fresh meat young things on campus - so  Get ready now. Remember, gals: College is all about Boys, Boobs, Basketball and Beer - The Four B's. So don't let yourself get distracted by all of the classroom stuff like Math and History etc, because you will need Straight A's in the Four B's or end up an unstreetable nobody like Charlotte Simmons with depression and anorexia and an un-cool boyfriend - a like Science Loser, instead of a hot Double-D Communications Major with medically-enhanced lips too - wow.

Enjoy college, gals! And if you want a doctorate, let's practice by playing PhD doctor.

Warmest personal regards,

Larry "Long Larry" Summers, VP, Marketing, Plastic Assets, Inc.
Former Prez, HU

Posted by The News Junkie in The Culture, "Culture," Pop Culture and Recreation at 08:25 | Comments (6) | Trackbacks (0)

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Ha ha. But remember, they were created to make babies happy, not grown up men... They won't be able to breastfeed their kids. Probably won't make a difference anyway, as vain, insecure women seldom succeed at breastfeeding past painful nipples, two days and a lifetime of feeble excuses and kids with allergies and 20 points lower IQs. And men who want giant breasted women want mommy all to themselves, anyway, so would have been jealous if she fed her kids the right way.
#1 cliffie on 2006-03-18 09:36 (Reply)
Confidential to News Junkie: this is probably why you have trouble getting dates. Good luck though!
#2 Anonymous on 2006-03-18 10:04 (Reply)
Hate to disappoint you, anonymous but: Never a week went by without several dates...Men worth dating (ie: who talk to you instead of just groping drunkenly) care more about a mind and character and physical health and real sex appeal than overly inflated mammary glands...After a fine social life, I married the smartest suitor.
#3 cliffie on 2006-03-18 10:19 (Reply)
Glad you keep us abreast of the important issues.
#4 Charles Martin (Link) on 2006-03-18 11:56 (Reply)
Charles gets it, Anon. It's humor!!!!!!!!!!!!
Would Larry Summers take that job? Hmmmmm.
And also, I did have a date a while ago...but I think I need to move to Texas.
#5 the news junkie on 2006-03-18 16:46 (Reply)
Frightening, innit?
#6 Charles Martin (Link) on 2006-03-19 00:25 (Reply)

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