Maggie's Farm

"The Anthropogenic Catastrophe of the Gray Lady's Book Review." As long as we are on the topic of anthropocentric obsession, busily squirreling away nuggets of wisdom about how much control humans have over nature, let's do it properly. Forget all this chatter about greenhouse gas. That is the least of our worries. Global warming, at it's most basic, is not so much a result of greenhouse gas as it is about the wobble in the earth's rotation. Moreover, this wobble is a product of mankind's tinkering with the gravitational forces between the moon, the sun, the earth and the things under the earth. Modern day deep drilling for example has wrought more havoc on our gravity than we even know. Several BP officials have admitted as much and say the earth is getting upset. Plus, removing all those moon rocks was a big mistake. Even far back in history, it has been established that the druids once experimented with gravity. Stonehenge and the authoritative tomes of Wicca crystal gazers prove it. All of this tinkering created the wobble and the wobble is a weather changer. The solution to this problem? Yes, there is a solution. As the author of the reviewed book hinted (she doesn't have the security clearance to know for sure) nuclear bombs exploded in the proper pattern, if we build enough of them, can fix the wobble. Geniuses like John McCain are working on bomb placement as we speak and as it happens, all of those wars in far away places were just part of pre-placement planning. No worries, there are people who know just what to do and scientists are sure they can make organic, earth friendly nuclear bombs. I will admit however, that once we correct that rotational wobble, we will need to begin working on the earth's rotational tilt. That tilt is a major headache, since it is theorized to cause yearly "winter/summer" weather variations. Probably, we will need to shift the moon a bit to fix that tilt. Moving right along, we should probably do something about that ages old problem called the, "night and day cycle". My new foundation is still working on plans for that problem. We will keep you posted as information is unclassified.

Oh sure, not much you can't figure out with magic mushrooms. Grand Wizard Gore says we are not to speak too freely of such matters. He thinks some people may be too ignorant to handle the truth and may confuse it with religion. So, let's just pretend I didn't say anything.