A blissful marriage is the stuff of teenage fantasy. Real life gets in the way of romance, and our unappealing traits become more evident over time. It's amazing how people put up with us.
The age-old institution remains, for us, a sacramental covenant, a secular contract, and a practical arrangement for building a good, decent, wholesome family life. Especially so in an era in which we, and our kids, all quickly move from home, and the extended family in the neighborhood is a thing of the remote past.
IQ is part of it. If you and a spouse each have average IQs of 100, the marriage should have an IQ of 200. If your judgement is mediocre, you can find a spouse with better judgement. If your social skills are weak, a spouse can help compensate. If your taste in decor stinks, your spouse might do better.
And unless you are very wealthy and can afford plenty of help, four hands can get more done in a few hours than can two.
It all just makes good sense as a life foundation, as something to try to build whatever one wants in life on top of. As much as I may even hate and abuse my spouse at times, my life would be lousy without him. At this point, I could not do it without my companion to rely on 100%. It is a permanent bond, as we vowed in the beginning. We put up with eachother's flaws, and benefit from eachother's strengths. We are loyal to eachother and to our life together, above all else. We even confide in eachother, which can be a bit sexy. Fantasy is fun.
The political Left is ambivalent about marriage. They like the idea of marriage to the State instead of to people, but they like gay marriage. Go figure. Historically, however, marriage did not strictly require monogamy despite the spoken vows in church, and allowed room for adventure. We do not do that because that was not our deal.
Charles Murray has been on this topic for years. Marriage works well for society as a whole, but it probably works well for individuals too. Marriage is increasingly the big sociological divide in American life: Getting and staying married makes you part of a privileged elite.
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