We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
Middle-class Americans tend to lead "child-centric" lives, for better or worse. I think it is often overdone.
I happen to believe that "happiness," however defined, is not necessarily a valid goal in life. Many things are more important. However, moments of joy are always welcome. I am grateful to my parents for having produced and nurtured me. Glad they had sex that winter day. Whether I produced more pleasure or pain for them, I have no idea and would never ask.
Despite what this person says, happiness (or the reduction of discomfort of some kind) is the ONLY goal in life. Everything we do is designed to reduce discomfort or increase happiness. We never really reach happiness but we are always, always in pursuit of it....always. Think about it.
Mark Tapson, in the last quote in the article got it right. "Bringing little ones into this world who depend on you for everything forces you to take life seriously and to clarify your own purpose on earth. Purpose gives your life meaning, and when your life has meaning beyond the narrow and empty confines of aimless, ephemeral self-gratification, then you have a shot at real happiness.”
And, as I believe Aquinas said love is willing the good of the other as other. So, being a parent, especially to a young or helpless child, is simply loving, as properly defined.
Endlessly seeking happiness is the road to ruin, because you're never satisfied. Doing, in a spirit of love, for others is, in an apparent contradiction, more satisfying and fulfilling, than selfishly chasing endlessly after ephemeral rainbows. Just wish I'd figured that out 20-30 years ago.
I don't think anyone with fewer than 3 children should write anything about parenting, because more often than not, they have no clue. Parenting one child is like thinking you know how to fly, because you took the controls of a Cessna 172 for 10 minutes in calm air, with an instructor next to you. Parenting two children is like thinking you know how to fly because you successfully took off in a Cessna 172 on a long, wide runway, with clear calm air, in good weather, with an instructor next to you. Parenting 3 or more children is like knowing how to fly that Cessna on instruments, solo, to a safe landing, in bad weather. The point is, you learn and grow from your children. If you only have one child, you can't apply what you learned to a second child. Raising that first child gets easier, because he or she is learning responsibility by helping with the younger sibling. By, the third child, the it's much easier, because you're finally confident that you know what you're doing. Few parents today seem to know how joyful parenting can be, because they think they know what they're doing after one child or two, when it takes three or more children (we have 5--and 3 grandchildren) to really master the art.
What's missing from the discussion is this: if we as a society stop having children, we will die out. It's simple math. So, it concerns me that the article said study after study of people who really don't know what they're talking about are "proving" people are better off without children, and closed with the only person who knew what he was talking about.
Raising children is all about willing the good of the other, as other.
Well....I stand by my position. You just say the same thing (we all strive for happiness...reducing discomfort...) in a different way.
BTW I have 3 children and 5 grandchildren so that approach didn't work.
Who is talking about stopping having children? You brought it up. I am talking about all human beings do what makes them less uncomfortable ina ll they do.....ALL, physically, mentally, socially...I am not trying to convince you. The only reason you (or I) do anything is not for the other person (although it may benefit that person) but for our own satisfaction. Next time you do something "for someone else" ask yourself if you feel better or worse after you have done it. Its the natural thing to do and the natural reason.
Do children make us happy? A LARGE "YES!" from here.
My 2 sons (21 & 20) are raising me to be not a 'half bad Dad'. I figure, if I can hang in long enough, I should turn out OK.
I happen to believe that "happiness," however defined, is not necessarily a valid goal in life.
I also agree with this statement. "Happiness" is not a goal...it's a condition that results from doing something that you enjoy doing. "Happiness" can result from any number of life's endeavours. Like love, it's the end result of something that brings you joy.