Maggie's Farm

We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.

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Thursday, February 14. 2013

Valentine's Day treat


I thought it would be a nice gesture to offer up something spicy for the ladies on this special day.


Presenting: Porn For Women














Posted by Dr. Mercury in Hot News & Misc. Short Subjects at 09:00 | Comments (12) | Trackbacks (0)

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I have a nit pick with that last one on directions. In my experience, it's women who refuse to get directions in spite of being obviously lost - or screwing up the directions in the first place. I don't get lost and I know how to read a map. :>)

Speaking of which, did you know that map reading is becoming a lot art? Its true. If the GPS system ever failed, there would be more crashes due to not knowing which way to go than you can count.
#1 Tom Francis on 2013-02-14 09:08 (Reply)
Well, men are:

A. Thick-headed
B. Mule-headed
C. Slow-headed
D. All of the above

Hence the myth. Myself, I've never hesitated to make a beeline for the nearest gas station when I'm lost. Time is more precious than pride.

When I was on my way up to northern Florida a few months ago, I was in some small town and suddenly things didn't jibe with my GoogleMaps. I hauled over right in the middle of the block into a parking space, hopped out and headed for the first person that looked like a local. Got straightened out and off I went. Elapsed wasted time: about four minutes.

As for the above pics, my gripe would be the guy lowering the toilet seat. I doubt he's going to be washing his hands afterward, right? Yuck!
#1.1 Dr. Mercury (Link) on 2013-02-14 09:52 (Reply)
There is a reason that most GPSs that do directions have a female voice by default.

Men will listen to women.

The opposite is not true.
#1.2 William O. B'Livion on 2013-02-14 13:17 (Reply)
And what a nice treat that was!!!
#2 Katharine on 2013-02-14 11:33 (Reply)
Doc, you are seriously messed up, in the best of all possible meanings of the phrase.
#3 Sam L. on 2013-02-14 12:01 (Reply)
You're blaming me for Title 9 and the Fairness Doctrine?? There's talk of imposing both on the blogosphere, but, personally, I think with this post we've done a lot to stave off the inevitable.

You should be thanking me, in other words. :)
#3.1 Dr. Mercury (Link) on 2013-02-14 12:13 (Reply)
A couple of questions.

Why do women get everything on Valentine's Day and men get nothing?

And how is that different from every day?
#4 Jim on 2013-02-14 13:35 (Reply)
Question asked, question answered! You simply need to move. Problem solved!
#4.1 Dr. Mercury (Link) on 2013-02-15 06:57 (Reply)
Those guys in the pictures make it tough for the rest of us.
#5 feeblemind on 2013-02-14 16:50 (Reply)
What a bunch of homos! ;)

Sorry but don't those guys sorta seem like the female half of a gay relationship?

Can I say that?
#6 Marie on 2013-02-14 18:09 (Reply)
I believe the word you're looking for is metrosexuals.

The good news is, they're not afraid to cry.

The bad news is, they're not afraid to cry.

Funny old world, huh?
#6.1 Dr. Mercury (Link) on 2013-02-14 18:46 (Reply)
Cute Dr.; But, still, these are problems - let me supply the follow up from the woman:

"Let's take you shoe shopping" - Dude, seriously, you don't know squat about women's shoes - why are tagging along when I clearly need some "girl time"? Who's going to stay home and watch the kids anyway?

Wearing a wifebeater while cleaning the kitchen - what's wrong with you getting your sweaty armpits all over the kitchen? You miss spots and use the wrong soap anyway. And look, you have the sponge wrong-side down! If you aren't going to do the job right, then don't do it at all.

Dinner with garlic and soy sauce. Are you crazy? The garlic will give us both bad breathe and the soy sauce had better be gluten free! Please, dude, just stay out of my kitchen since you clearly don't have a clue. (and I'll have to clean up after you have made a mess since you clearly don't know how)

Is that the baby? are you kidding me? since when do you get up to take care of our baby - you don't know how to keep her from crying, you only make it worse for me to have to come along later and clean up after you as well as her since you don't know how to change a diaper.

Take out the garbage - yea, well, dude, you don't recycle, you don't know to separate the cans, bottles, and garbage as I can still see some cans through that bag. Seriuosly dude, just let me do it since you are clearly an uncaring-about-the-environment jerk.

YOU want to go to the crafts fair? Since when? Oh, I know, since that cute woman you saw doing macrame last time we were there. or is it the pottery chick you were flirting with before? Sorry, hubby, you never could fool me.

Putting the toilet seat down. Did you clean the toilet? Did you clean the floor after you splashed all over it? how about that low roll of TP? Didn't it dawn on you to replace it with a new, fuller roll? and, yes, as mentioned above -wash your hands when done!

You brought me flowers for no reason? Really, what's your game? Feeling guilty about something for sure. Don't even think that I won't find out, believe me buddy, I WILL. You cannot hide anything from me!

You want to pull over and ask for directions? To my mother's house? Nice try bud, but we ARE going there for dinner. You WILL be nice to her and my sisters. Trying to delay getting there won't work.
#7 Charles on 2013-02-17 10:43 (Reply)

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