We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
- A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house. The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.". The Biologist: "They have reproduced". The Mathematician: "If now exactly one person enters the house then it will be empty again."
- A doctor, a lawyer, and a mathematician were having a conversation about the relative benefits of wives and mistresses.
The doctor insisted that, from a health perspective, it was far better to have a wife. He talked about stress, relaxation, routine, and other factors.
The lawyer contended that it was better to have a mistress, because that way you retain more of your legal rights, she doesn't own half your property, and so forth.
The mathematician said that he could see both sides of that argument, but really he thought it was best to have both.
"Both?", the doctor and the lawyer exclaimed. "Why?"
"Sure, both. That way, when the wife thinks you're with the mistress, and the mistress thinks you're with the wife, you can sneak off by yourself and do mathematics."
As a mathematician I find that math joke highly offensive and mathematicianist.
Two sodium atoms are flying around a cyclotron.
Suddenly the first atom said to the second, "Hey, I think I've just lost an electron."
"Are you sure?" asked the second atom.
"Yeah," said the first, "I'm positive."
Then there is the all time classic geek joke:
A farmer notices his chickens are getting sick, he calls in a physicist to help him. The physicist takes a good look at the chickens and does some calculations, he suddenly stops and says "Ive got it, but it would only work if the chickens were spherical and in a vacuum."
A mathematician and a physicist are in a room. There is a table with a bucket of water on it, and a trash can in a corner with paper in it. The paper suddenly ignites; the physicist grabs the bucket and dowses the fire. They leave.
Later the mathematician is in a room with a table, a bucket of water on the floor, and paper-filled trash can in a corner. It ignites. The mathematician says to himself, I've seen something similar to this, picks up the bucket of water and puts it on the table. Yes! says the mathematician, grabs the bucket and dowses the fire.