Maggie's Farm

"What I Saw During Operation Pillar of Defense" Yeah, that's part of the problem with women in the armed forces, they are so easily distracted by lost kittens when they should be shooting the enemy. Which brings me directly to this question, what happened to war? Has anyone seen where it went? If you find it, can you bring it back please?
You see, I'm pretty sure all that crap the author of this article was talking about is something, but it sure as hell isn't war. Kill the enemy, destroy his ability to resist. Is that really so confusing? What's all this nonsense about civilians? Screw the civilians, they feed and equip the warriors don't they? They buy the weapons and ammunition don't they? Stupid. And we wonder why we lost every war since WW2? I say bring war back. Our enemies are not confused about the nature of war. So, we in the fancy-pants west need to wake up and smell the coffee.

"Are there any Vietnam War-era POWs still alive in Laos?" This MIA-POW stuff is always good for a nice, polite, unemotional exchange of ideas. Actually though, I really liked the author's take in this article. He was level headed. But, that doesn't matter. You see, I like lost in the woods stories. Does anyone else remember how that abortion bomber dude was found down south? I believe he was camped behind a 7-eleven so he could raid the dumpster. A pretty good idea, until he was careless and exposed himself. Now, what I propose to recover those soldiers and marines from the woods all over SE Asia is what I call operation Lure Them Out or LOONY for short. It's not complicated, but will cost billions of dollars anyway. All we have to do is set out packages of aromatic hamburgers, tacos and ice cold beer in the areas where headquarters receives reports of sightings. Leaflets should be dropped by low flying crop dusting type airplanes to inform the populace of our peaceful plan. That way, the locals will know to call in whenever they see an American stealing food from dumpsters and garbage cans. Usually, I suspect, they just ignore them or incorrectly report them as Bigfoot. Which, as everyone knows, is a sure way to be politely ignored. It might even help if the fast foods most preferred by local peoples are included in the packages. So, maybe a mix of burgers, tacos, beer and pork fried rice? Maybe we better use flares, smoke bombs and flashing lights also, just to be safe. Whatever, but you get the picture. In no time at all, the myth that no Americans are wandering around in the woods of Laos and Vietnam and Cambodia will be finally and permanently dispelled. I guarantee it.

Yep, I've been very helpful today. No worries, I was bored.

OK, just one more quickie. "Pretty much everything you eat is associated with cancer." Yeah, duh. Finally, we have the proof we needed to confirm what I've suspected for a long time. Chem trails really are poisoning us to death. People dying wasn't enough for the foolish skeptics. Now, maybe they will listen when they learn that cancer from our food is also killing people. I told you so.

Thank you for your kind words Gone. I noticed right off from the comments that this blog attracted a finer class of reader. Which makes it all the more tragic when I try too hard and my material falls short. I guess I'll have to try very hard not to try too hard to be funny. No, that's not right. I need to relax and get a looser grip. Never mind, I'm getting such a loose grip right now, I better just shut up.