The Ten Suggestions
Since we're eliminating the outdated, no-fun, difficult, insensitive commandments, along with the socially-dangerous Easter Bunny - I mean Holiday Bunny - it's time to begin work on the rational New Ten Commandments, as determined by clear-thinking, scientifically unbiased, psychologically-approved, sensitive, government-certified Professional Experts - logically and humanistically-determined with proven culture-free or culture-neutral methods under sterile laboratory conditions. They will be presented as they emerge from the Scientific Laboratory of Rational Human Behavioral Management, from a secret, secure, mountaintop location, via email. Here's the first:
The New First Commandment
Thou shalt love and worship the State as the source of all Good and all Wisdom and of Life itself.
There shalt be only one other God before that, which is the State's Holy Sacred Father - the Great International State Uber-God, who knoweth your every thought and liketh them not, and who resides in the Heavenly umlaut-free interstices of cyberspace. The Beloved State (any State) was born by Scientific Miracle from the Sacred Spirit of the Uber-God, and is His only Son. You must have faith in Modern Social Science and Modern Chemistry that this is Truth.
The following extract from The New Leviticus seems to expand somewhat on the above: Either are best worshipped by sacrifice of the individual soul and spirit at specially-designed, social-scientific altars which will soon be present at all government locations including fire-houses and police stations, where they will replace the antiquated creches of false gods.To help achieve this worship, thou shalt worship and love everything that advances the International Socialist Movement or The Brave New World as predicted by Huxley, and anything that undermines American values or American power or American prosperity or American individual freedom or American religious traditions, because Aermicans are the Uber-God's Unchosen People. Members of the media, educators, fashionably right-thinking people, socially-appropriate people, people of color, vegans, chardonnay-sippers, women, and related types SHALT NOT criticize any left-leaning, anti-American, or anti-religious organization or government, politician, dictator, mass-murderer anywhere in the world, ever. This includes Castro, China, Chavez, Kerry-Kennedy, the ACLU, Mbagawa Mgububwe, Kim Sung Il, Pol Pot, Saddam - woops - too late, NOW, the French, The New York Times, Al Quaida, and the like.
