Torturing Mom and Dad to prove we care

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Sunday, February 19. 2012

Torturing Mom and Dad to prove we care

We docs see this all the time, and some docs seem to almost encourage it: "There is always hope," etc.

Aggressive treatment of terminal cancer can be the worst. Refusal to give in to nature's natural processes. Death as the great enemy. Guilt. There is always a time to let go of relationships, and a time to let go of life.

It is often said that "old age is not for sissies," but I have seen terminal torture treatment which the Geneva Convention would hold illegitimate. A friend lost her 52 year-old sister to pancreatic cancer yesterday. Due to heroic efforts, her last three months on earth were made hell when she could have had a peaceful, morphinized passage.

Posted by Dr. Joy Bliss in Medical, Our Essays, The Culture, "Culture," Pop Culture and Recreation at 17:16 | Comments (10) | Trackbacks (0)

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Physicians opt for much less end-of-life care than the rest of us.

#1 Assistant VIllage Idiot (Link) on 2012-02-19 19:10 (Reply)

I agree completely. My father died of lung cancer. The last 8 months of his life were a miserable hell due to the hideously painful and nauseating chemotherapy he was given.

His family doctor initially told my father that he would be given radiation therapy and then whatever meds he needed to keep him comfortable until he died. If this had taken place my poor father's end would have been much different than it was.

The specialists who took over his treatment went from radiation to chemotherapy and, as you said, it was nothing short of torture. Shortly before he died the doctors were insisting on another round of torture but my father refused. He would have had to be driven to the facility for his treatment--about 150 miles away--in an ambulance.

I hope to be able to forgive his tormentors someday. So far I'm not doing so good at it.

#2 Kathryn of Wyoming on 2012-02-19 21:17 (Reply)

my Mom died in similar circumstances. 72 when diagnosed w/3 small lung tumors, when the specialists got ahold of her they treated so aggressively that med professionals I knew were appalled. She lasted 4 yrs in total misery and pain at her doc's behest. It wore Dad out caring for her. When he was diagnosed @ 78 w/leukemia he said hell no to the chemo! he lasted 1 year! He told me 2 mos before he died that "if this is dying I'll take a truckload of it!" he had quit all his bp & cholestral meds etc. He felt great till he was just so tired he took some morfin (hospice) and died with a big smile on his face.. on his own sofa in own home... happy. he is my role model. smile Mk

#2.1 Mk (Link) on 2012-03-13 10:44 (Reply)

I find human resistance to the inevitable to be a noble, endearing behavior.
Where there's no hope, there's hope.
Silly, yes.
Sad, yes.
Childish, yes.
Wonderful, yes.

#3 PacRim Jim (Link) on 2012-02-19 21:29 (Reply)

It's hard to know whether you're giving up too soon. It's a pretty final decision. I'd like to think, though, that I'd make the decision to go gracefully rather than subject myself to futile torture in a vain attempt to avoid the inevitable truth. I have some doctor friends I think I could trust to give me the straight dope.

#4 Texan99 (Link) on 2012-02-19 21:37 (Reply)

Re: "Turn Turn Turn"
Was the the last time a rock group quoted the Bible? It is so refreshing and it reminds me of the wisdom in the Bible. A very nice song, too.

#5 mudbug on 2012-02-19 23:27 (Reply)

Mr. Mister; Kyrie Elieson, 1985?

#5.1 Chris Paul on 2012-02-20 02:48 (Reply)

--the Grim Peaper just dawdles along sleeping in the saddle way back on the trail for nearly all our years, then all of a sudden he wakes up, spurs that pale horse, lays on the whip, and comes a-galloping.

#6 buddy larsen on 2012-02-20 00:48 (Reply)

PS --there's a chance that the 'Grim Peaper' image may have somewhat diluted the intended dramatic effect. "Where thar's Life, thar's no proof readin'"

#6.1 buddy larsen on 2012-02-20 00:58 (Reply)

Given the current status of the anti-opiate drug warriors in the federal dot-gov, I'm pretty sure most doctors are very reluctant to allow someone the dignity of "...a peaceful, morphinized passage". Just look at how they've hounded the people who dare to advocate such things.

#7 Blackwing1 on 2012-02-22 19:29 (Reply)

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Sunday, February 19. 2012

Torturing Mom and Dad to prove we care