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Tuesday, January 17. 2012Is good old-fashioned lechery now re-named "Sex Addiction"?One interesting aspect of modern life in the Western World is the pathologizing, or "diseaseifying," of moral and character failures. Putting such failures into the disease category is a popular conceit for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the way it seems to let people off the hook. The victim thing. But while even AA may make use of the disease metaphor, if you go to a meeting you will hear far more about character flaws than about disease. They are not into disease excuses for problem behavior. I have been posting recently about satiable and insatiable appetites for pleasures - food and for other things, here: For the New Year: Satiety, the Animal Pleasures, the Cardinal Sins, and "Addiction," Part 2 and here The bad news: Eating less keeps your brain younger and more vigorous (with comments on satiety) Despite the addiction meme, ordinary people still term those who eat more than they need "pigs," people who buy too much stuff "self-indulgent," people who habitually drink too much "drunks," and people with uncontained sexual efforts as "lechers" or as "nymphomaniacs" or "hos". Ordinary language reflects the common sense moral disapprobation of ungoverned behavior. To say that they "lack a self-governing function" is the disease model, a defect model, but to use it requires turning a verb idea into a noun idea, by reification. The better form is "They do not govern themselves," or, better yet, "They do not exert themselves to govern themselves." The disease/defect model does not do justice to all of the people who must struggle mightily to resist all of the temptations that life offers. Pajamas has a piece up about sex "addiction," Sex Addiction 101 - PJM's advice columnist on the Chinese food syndrome of loveless sex: no sooner satisfied, than feeling empty again. While the article makes the obvious point that people seek pleasure and often seek to replace distress with simple pleasures, it entirely overlooks the moral, spiritual, and character dimensions of lechery as if it were a "chemical imbalance" instead of plain old-fashioned rotten, socially-inappropriate behavior. Sinful too, if anybody believes in sin anymore. While it seems true that habitual pleasures change the brain a little, so does habitual self-control. Self-control offers many rewards, but few rewards of the instant, animal sort. There are good habits and bad habits. I don't know whether it is a sociological fact, but it seems as if the debauchery and bad habits, once the domains of the very rich and powerful and of the poor, have become democratized and, in the process, excused to some extent (eg the Oval Office BJs). People I talk to with bad or unrestrained behaviors of all sorts tend to despise themselves for it, and view putting their behavior into a disease category as a condescension. Unless they are guilt-free sociopaths, they know that their behavior is self-indulgent and immoral. People can quit these things, with help and sometimes without help, if they want to or need to, but it means giving up a lot of instant gratification in exchange for, one hopes, better life results and less self-contempt. Trackbacks
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Bravo, Dr., very good stuff. I came from 15 years of poly-substance abuse to now 34 years of sobriety and freedom through an encounter with Christ and my will exercised. Enough with the DSM characterizing everything from pedophilia to goat humping as a disorder. As Karl Menninger asked "What Ever Happened to Sin?"
I thought the rush classification of all these "disorders" was to give the professionals a billing code. If you don't fit in one of the boxes, how are we going to bill this to the insurance company ( or medicare)? There may be some pressure to categorize these things to make them more socially acceptable.
It's the difference between seeing Homo Sapiens as biological mechanisms versus free moral agents, I suppose. I err on the side of free moral agency, ergo, responsibility and the potential to change direction according to the readings of a moral compass. (What that compass is is another subject, altogether).
I tend to think when you navigate to a place of - let's call it sin behavior - it takes time and effort to navigate back to a healthier place. That is to say, there are no shortcuts to developing character. Do you agree Dr. Bliss? Agreed which would leave little room for effective treatment by a psychologist. The person would be better served getting moral counseling from a religious leader such as a pastor, priest or someone capable of helping the person address the needs of his soul and consciense.
Problem is that takes away business from the psychologist who needs to diagnose this activity as a treatable disorder, thus the defined categories for billing purposes. Unfortunately for the patient, psychological counseling will be far less effective than moral counseling. Diversity has undermined the social order of our communities and there is little will left to impose consequences to reign in anti-social behaviors. We're re-inventing the wheel socially and paying dearly for it I fear.
They got caught doing what they knew was wrong and tried to shift the blame to their 'addiction'.
It's as if one of my kids ate an entire box of cookies and claimed that "it wasn't my fault, I have cookie addiction". Didn't the pyschology industry change homosexuality from a disease to normal behavior?
Is the pyschology industry being politically correct? Let's see - I knew I had a problem after my third DWI. Fortunately (luckily?), I never hurt anyone or cracked up a car. Easiest thing in the world was to quit drinking, once I made up my mind to do it. That was almost 20 years ago and I don't miss the booze one bit. Guess that ability to make a conscious decision to quit drinking is what puts me a bit higher up on Darwin's ladder then Pavlov's dogs . . .
Me too. I quit cold when I was 60 (20 years ago). Never had a DUI, but was "feeling it in my bones". As a layman, I've always thought there were two kinds of excessive drinkers. 1) Those who just enjoy the tastes, relaxed feeling, and happy outlook, and 2) those who, consciously or subconsciously, want to forget or avoid. I've always thought the former could quit drinking when the need arose, while the latter are the addicts. Maybe the Doc could expound on this, or if it's a new thought, some PhD candidate in the humanities could use it as a research topic.
Before I was directly involved in the nursing and medical professions, I worked at something else, and volunteered at a local hospital, since closed. My volunteer job was to talk to the people (patients) on the psychiatric floor, most of whom did not have an acute crisis. Many were in the hospital for detox from alcohol or other substrances, and if I wanted to, the patients would be greatful if I would accompany them to an AA meeting downstairs. What they didn't tell me right away was the largest part of my time would be spent listening.
I have had to attend meetings and learn about the Twelve Step programs for my present work, but back then I had no idea how many programs there were. There were people in the meetings that identified with alcohol, cocaine, narcotics, overeaters, gambling and sex addiction. There weren't many meetings in CT then for some of these disorders. The stories of the sex addicts (I met two) showed a compulsion that reminded me of the gambler, and recall Jephnol's post above. There was nothing that couldn't be lost, whether it be a job, a marriage and family, self-respect. As he [Jephnol] remarked, but paraphrased here: If it takes twenty years to walk into the woods, it's going to take almost that long to walk out. I still think it is a learned behavior. I'm making an exception for head-injury on these impulse control issues, and others might consider that.
That does not imply that we should consider such out-of-control asocial behaviors acceptable, but it does set up our possible responses differently. If you don't like that, then I suggest you go the next logical step and put old guys with dementia in jail for sexually assaulting their caregivers. Just because something can be used as an excuse and sometimes is used as an excuse does not mean it is never a legitimate reason. Wolves hide in sheep's clothing, but that doesn't mean everything wooly is really a wolf. I agree, AVI. As I noted in my comment, I merely err on the side of free moral agency. Implicit in this is my assumption that some of those behaviors are symptomatic of a physiological condition or they're more deeply rooted in a person's behavioral conditioning by exigent circumstances, ergo, less easily brought to extinction.
JTW makes an interesting argument as well, that some behaviors we consider maladaptive is normative in other cultures. That's an idea worthy of consideration. If I like to smoke pot, or shoot up Mexican Brown, or take Adderol, or sip gin fizzes or roger any and all willing playmates, and doing so makes me very happy (in both the short-term and the long-term) , and if there truly are no bad health effects from doing so in the specific manner in which I do so, and if I only get {high/low/buzzed/goofy/excited} during times when there's no chance that any other person is going to be relying on my mastery of my higher - oops, poor choice, I mean my more intellectually-informed faculties, and we accept that I could quit any of these activities in a heartbeat if I saw any need to but I don't (don't fight my hypo), BUT the people around me disapprove and try to stop me so that I can behave like them, who is disordered?
We place moral signifiers (good or bad or some combo thereof) based upon what we want to do ourselves. If I get up most mornings and run five miles before work, I'm "dedicated." If I never miss a day, I'm "driven." I'm not generally going to be called an "addict." The People have arrived at a group decision that running for exercise is a salutory thing, and so we discuss it using approving words. If I get home from work most days and light up a doobie or smoke a little opium or knock back a few belts, I'm a "druggie," a "stoner," a "drunk" - all labels that have negative connotations in our society. Again, The People have judged and decided. So, there's one aspect of what (I think) you're speaking about: other people's perceptions of your own choices. But those social perceptions aren't borne out of a vacuum; they've been accepted due to empirical observation that, too frequently, people doing the drinking and drugging end up either in trouble themselves, or causing trouble for others, specifically as a result of that activity. You get the "sin" label for activities when too many times in the past, someone has gotten burned because someone partook of that activity. Drunks crash their cars, tokers eat all your Oreos, opium smokers make poor conversationalists and eventually end up on welfare . . . To me, I've always viewed the entire concept of "disorder" as a function, not of doing any of those specific activities per se, but of partaking of any activity in a manner such that it erodes or lessens some material aspect of your life and your existence, or the existences of others. In short, any activity that makes you truly happy, and doesn't take away from anyone else's happiness, is acceptable, is not sinful, and is not a disorder. "Disorder" is what happens when you are not controlling what you do or how your choices affect you and others. A little opium with TV? No problem. Enough opium so that your job is lost due to your inability to get up and get to work, or to do the work if you get there? There's your disorder. The next step seems to be this label of "addiction," which is an entirely different concept from morality. If I smoke cigarettes every day, and the nicotine eventually quells my internal production of certain neurotransmitter-helpful bodily fluids and in fact takes their place, thus causing me a profound dis-ease if I should fail to get my daily nicotine, then I meet the qualifications to call myself an addict. If I use cocaine or pot, neither of which replace bodily functions but are both only additive, and thus there are no chemical reasons keeping me from quitting - just the fact that it feels so wonderful that my life would be cheapened and bleak without them. All of which leads to sex. (Funny, that line fits into so many discussions in the life of Man.) A rake - a letch - a horndog - a Casanova - they're all just labels for someone who derives so much pleasure and enjoyment from one specific activity that they've made it a central activity for themselves. Does it harm them? (And that has to be answered in an objective, physical way, not in a lamenting of what else they're missing in life as they devote all waking, non-work time to The Chase. None of this "but they always miss Dancing With The Stars because they're on dates!") I think the answer to "does it harm them" is, no, it's not a harmful activity in and of itself. Does it harm that person - or does it harm society in general - if those sexcapades lead to broken marriages, single-parented kids, venereal diseases, fatuous egoisms, or those annoying and cloying little off-in-their-own-lubricated-little-world new-boyfriend-and-new-girlfriend loving conversations mixed with soulful glances that made one of your college roommates and his surgically-attached little soulmate so utterly unbearable that you wanted to kill them both and bury them in the basement? Sure. All of those things are "harms." But those are still just secondary harms that are NOT caused by the simple factor of too constant of a sex life. Can you call an activity that I refuse to stop doing only because it's so wonderfully pleasurable, and not because of any chemical imbalances caused by the activity itself - can you call such an activity an "addiction"? I don't think it fits. I love chocolate chip cookies. Have always loved them, will never be without them. But . . . addiction? No. "Love." - - - I'm just damned glad this comment didn't get long or anything. " instead of plain old-fashioned rotten, socially-inappropriate behavior. Sinful too, if anybody believes in sin anymore."
The two are identical. "socially-inappropriate behaviour" is what a religious person would call "sin". In another society, it may well be the norm, or at the very least quite acceptable. Re. sex, the US especially has among western ("modern") societies extremely backwards atttitudes towards the practice. For example nipplegate is incomprehensible to anyone in modern Europe (and probably most anywhere outside the US except Iran and Saudi Arabia). There's nothing wrong with sex per se, as long as it is consensual. Similarly there's nothing wrong with showing skin, even genetalia, except society (through religious foundations) has decided it's somehow 'sinful' and thus 'socially inappropriate'. In societies that don't have such taboos (like many tribal groups) people don't blink an eye about seeing each other naked. In fact, Americans don't think there's anything sexual or immoral about it either (as long as it's not them). Sex addiction? I can see how one can develop an addiction to high levels of hormones and other chemicals the body produces while engaging in sexual activity. A chemical imbalance can indeed cause just that. Whether this is the cause of most or all people called 'sex addicts' I don't know, and I doubt it's ever been studied, but I can't exclude the possibility. Of course (like with smoking) the physical activity itself can also be addictive. So we've 2 things at work here: a society that classifies something quite normal as wrong, then classifies a certain incidence of that normal activity as "addiction". Ever since Bill Clinton , I have wondered why people who have "sex addiction" could not satisify it having sex with their spouses?
I stumbled across this site and feel like I fell into a place I don't recognize. I saw one comment to the effect that any consensual sex is OK, which says that if I have sex with your spouse it's ok as long as you don't know about it because we are consenting. Sex addiction, for me, isn't about how much sex I've had -- which is tons, of all stripes -- but my clear inability to stop despite my promises to myself and others. Sure, you can call it moral weakness. Alcoholics are morally weak then. I flat out destroyed people in my life I love. I came to a point that the idea of killing myself was looking increasingly favorable to continuing to act the way I was living. My loss of volition lead to complete and utter emotional devastation. Call it what you will but please don't make fun of it or demean if you don't know what you are talking about. Too many people weep too many tears for this. Or at least have some recognition of childhood sexual trauma and its role in traumatic repetition. This is not just a social construction, guys. People are dead because of their powerlessness over lust. Dead.
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