I really don’t get up in the morning asking myself “Who can I piss off today?” It just seems to work out that way, many days.
How does that happen? Closest I can figure, it’s because I study many issues, form conclusions, and am willing to share them, regardless of whose ox is gored. But, how did I come to be like that? Ah, that’s the real question, I think.
Indeed, I think is part of the answer. I don’t tend to react so much as to try to think ahead, seeing the consequence of current events, particularly in light of training, experience, and history.
This served me well in business, frequently clearing new paths and accomplishing remarkable goals, often necessarily undiplomatic and forthright, while others filled their pockets and defended their comfortable positions. This also served me well in politics, raising issues that others didn’t until I did, then the matters going viral. I usually didn't receive rewards, many times the opposite, but I was satisfied to accomplish something.
But, why me? Others are smarter or stronger or smoother or richer or better positioned.
Others say it’s because I came up ballsy through the scrappy streets of Flatbush. Others say it’s because I came up poor and learned to succeed. Others say it’s because I grew up surrounded by immigrants from the carnage of WWII who shared their painful lessons about the consequences of allowing evil to spread.
On the other hand, others say it’s because I’m a schmuck who puts my ego before possible relationships or personal gain.
I say, “whatever.” I don’t try nor care to try to self-analyze nor to care if others analyze me. I’m just me. I really don’t feel I have any other alternative. I believe, at core, that there’s a very simple and measurable way to know whether I am me.
If I’m unhappy, it’s because I’m not thinking or behaving like me but as someone else wants me to be, or it’s because I’m goofing off.
Back in the ‘50s there was a very popular TV show, The Millionaire, where weekly an anonymous million-dollars was delivered to a deserving person, changing their lives. The following morning, across America, people discussed what they would do with a million-dollars. Then and now I couldn’t come up with an answer for more than a few tens of thousands of dollars. I’ve always been satisfied with whatever I’ve had, however meager, always loved a good hot dog, and been happy to sit in whatever seats in the sun at a ball game. So, being me seems to be just being satisfied with whatever I have, not being obsessed with what I don’t.
The rough and tumble upbringing may have contributed to my spine, but we all know many who didn’t rise above their really or perceived tough childhood. We try to help them, with a boost or inspiration, and some do rise to their potential. We also know many who had every advantage and squandered them or who feel they’re entitled, with little care for their impacts on others in further feathering their own nests. Despite disdain by most, they live in insulated circles, usually blithely going on about their ways. Sometimes they earn their comeuppance, but whine the loudest when they do.
So, what makes the difference for the majority of us? I say it is fortitude and resilience. At 10 my grandfather asked whether I was lazy. That struck me hard, and I never quit at anything again. In Vietnam, although I was rarely in real danger, I made a deal with G-d: Get me out of here in one piece and you’ll never hear another complaint from me. We both kept that deal.
Fortitude and resilience come down to that, making a promise to oneself and keeping it to rise above circumstances. To do so requires paying attention to what’s happening, outside and inside, and doing something about it. Passivity and timidity are the enemy, to be overcome.
So, I don’t wake up asking myself, “who can I piss off today?” I wake up asking myself, “what can I overcome today?” And, “how can I help others to overcome?” It just doesn’t occur to me to ask, “what’ll be the consequences for me?” When I hear myself or someone else describe their “reason” for avoiding difficult choices, I substitute the word “excuse”, and that’s usually more accurate.
How do you wake up?
