We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
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Tuesday, March 29. 2011
Antisocial Personality. I miss it all the time. I am posting this in the hope that this will help deter me from missing it in the future.
AVI claims you can tell criminals by their faces, but I am not talking about serious criminals. I am talking about the effective manipulators, seducers, schemers, and deceivers and not the obvious violent and stupid people who end up in jails.
I get burned by such people on a regular basis. I like to think it's because I tend to think the best of people, but it's really probably my naivete.
Not all people with antisocial traits are axe-murderers. Most are ordinary liars, users, con-artists, self-servers, etc., and they often do not realize themselves that they are off base and living in their own amoral reality with all of their rationalizations for their behavior. The problem with the personality disorders is that people with them think they are normal. Sociopathy is a very common personality disorder, and often associated with glibness and a sort of disarming appeal that many people fall for.
Yes, everybody lies sometimes. I am not talking about that. I am talking about deceit and conniving as a way of life. Politics, for an example.
I always get suspicious when they call me "Doc" at first. I take it as an intrusive presumption of intimacy which I have not invited. Do not call your physician "Doc," except on the golf course. "Doctor" is OK.
The only real cure is religion, but that is only if, and after, they have somehow come to realize how off-base they are in their take on life, their relative indifference to others, and their self-centeredness.
In recent years, we have learned that Antisocial Personality traits derive as much from upbringing as from genetics. I think we wanted to believe it was all genetic. How it all works, I do not understand. All I know is to Beware, because these people will turn around and hurt you without thinking twice about it.
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For whatever reason, I have always been pretty good at telling when somebody, who otherwise appears to be behaving in perfect good faith, is actually telling a bald-faced stinker or omitting important parts of the whole truth -- especially when the lie or deception is being aimed at someone else. Being a lawyer sharpened this facility; between having practiced criminal law, family law and now mostly business related litigation, I've witnessed and been privy to a pretty astonishing, and dismaying, array of lyin' behavior. And usually I see through it when clients are lying to me.
But, like the old saw about accountants being brilliant with everybody's money but their own, a while back I let myself get snookered by someone who pretty much brazenly deceived me in a personal business relationship. Basically, I let my own hopes and desires blind me to what I otherwise would have picked up on. Small-scale disaster and woe ensued.
It hurt my pride and dented my wallet, but it was a good lesson.
One reason lawyers tend to be cynical because they are often privy to nasty information about their clients and others that the rest of society is not. I know some rank scoundrels that carry on in their social lives as otherwise upstanding community members. I'm cynical too, but I've seen enough of goodness to, at least, balance the scale, so I haven't turned pitch-black cynical, anyway!!
Psychiatrists are privy to much also. I still tend to believe everything, although I do get the point of Dr. U. R. Lying in the shrink toon.
I believe my boss has what they call Asbergers. Completely off the wall and comes unglued in a second. He never forgives OR forgets. I've never met a person like this. I love my job however,and have only had 2 run ins with him that left me angry and speechless. And then i remembered Galatians 5:22-23. It gets me through each day.
If being charming comes naturally, the first impulse may be to take advantage of it, perhaps? Laziness vs. trying. Easier for social misfits to be virtuous?
Interesting thought, along the lines of the "dumb blond" theory.
If you imply that I'm antisocial again, I'm going to go all Lizzie Borden on you!
Btw, if you don't like being addressed as "Doc," perhaps you might consider not reflexively calling patients by their first name.
Just a thought.
Doctors have earned the right to be addressed properly. And as for addressing you by your first name, perhaps doctors are hoping to establish an intimacy that can benefit medical circumstances - or PERHAPS, they are honoring HIPPA regulations by not revealing your last name in front of other patients.
1) Learning to draw sharpened my ability to detect liars.
2) Almost every time I have argued against my intuitive feelings, I have been proven wrong. As mentioned above, our own interests blind us.
"they often do not realize themselves that they are off base and living in their own amoral reality with all of their rationalizations for their behavior."
Isn't this usually labelled a "lifestyle?" And aren't people who oppose it *****?
"Do not call your physician Doc... ?!"
Perhaps pompous Angel of Death would be better?
(Never underestimate the arrogance/self centeredness of a medical physician.)
Good luck when you're gravely ill and need medical care. Go back to Sveden, Sven.
Me report carried to me folks read, does not play well with other children
Where is it i should que up, Teach?
When I was, briefly, a security officer in a community corrections facility, one of our programs was Moral Reconation Therapy. It was based on the idea of getting offenders to recognize their actions and to understand that they were harmful. I have no idea how effective it was or was not, but it links to the idea that religion is the cure for ASPD.
Note to CIII: Asperger's Syndrome is linked with autism. My son has this diagnosis. He is "young for his age" but he is almost completely inclined to kindness and mildness, not to temper tantrums. He has an annoying set of inappropriate responses but they are harmless ones. If your boss has Asperger's and is also inclined to be very angrily impulsive, there are probably other problems. Or he's just a jerk and thinks he gets what he wants this way.