Maggie's Farm

It is anniversary season for many. I recommend some nice diamonds for the gal - especially if she hasn't let herself go because she is sick and tired of you and your dirty, stinky socks, your selfishness, your unromantic, piggish ways, your roving eyes, your cocktails and ceegars, your crappy personality, and your inadequate income.

It's a husband's duty and pleasure to remain manly, strong, productive and firm (even if it requires the humiliation of the little blue pills) and to never show physical or emotional frailty.

It's a wife's duty and pleasure to remain lovely, cheerful, supportive, feminine and desirable, and to never nag or complain (and to use that estrogen stuff if you're over the hill).

Anything less is a de facto rejection, and rejection is deeply hurtful and damaging to the soul.