We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
I tended bar for years in a very large and busy bar.
I feel completely qualified to comment on this issue.
My message to every bartender in the country:
I give precisely zero fucks what you think of me and/or what I order. Give me what I want, as promptly as possible. I understand you may be busy with other patrons, but if I feel I’m being ignored or if I have to work too hard to catch your eye or get your attention then your tip is plummeting. Once I’m served, keep an eye out. I’ll be wanting a second drink, if history is any guide. Be cordial, crisp and professional, and I’ll tip you very well and be on my way. If you have an opinion on what I’m drinking you can keep it to yourself because no one else cares.
No kidding. I'm trying to imagine being interested in securing a favorable judgment from a bartender. Should I also worry whether my waiter admires my choice in food? Who's paying whom here? I mean, they deserve my respect as human beings, and I always tip well, but I'm not mentally ill. I make up my own mind what to eat and drink.
Bar Patron Confession: I'm secretly judging you by how well you make any of your establishment's signature drinks. Best you deliver on whatever's promised in the cocktail menu. Serve me something stinky, and your bar AND your restaurant have lost a repeat customer. Serve me something interesting, and I'll be back AND tell my friends.
I never go to bars because I don't drink and do not like to be around those that do too much. When I did while in business with a group of associates they all knew what I drank, milk. They got a kick out f it and sometimes the bartenders cold come up with a glass of milk for the teetotaler. I really didn't care what other around me thought including the bar tender.
If your living depends on tips it's time for a real job. Seriously, who sees waiting tables or bar tending as their life's work? Every day you spend standing behind a bar judging people and thinking you're cool is a day of your life wasted.
I don't see the big deal. Everyone judges people by how they look, speak, act, accent, language ability, Appropriateness, hygiene, and everything else. Even babies can and will do this.
Re: the Duke professor forced to resign for telling Chinese exchange students not to speak Chinese loudly. The reason was simply wanted to remind then that people will get an impression and she wanted them to appear to be proficient in English. Everyone judges and everyone is being judged.