We are a commune of inquiring, skeptical, politically centrist, capitalist, anglophile, traditionalist New England Yankee humans, humanoids, and animals with many interests beyond and above politics. Each of us has had a high-school education (or GED), but all had ADD so didn't pay attention very well, especially the dogs. Each one of us does "try my best to be just like I am," and none of us enjoys working for others, including for Maggie, from whom we receive neither a nickel nor a dime. Freedom from nags, cranks, government, do-gooders, control-freaks and idiots is all that we ask for.
The Wisteria which shades our pergola and makes such a fine display in May sent runners around the porch and attacked our porch furniture like a Strangler Fig. Mind you, we cut the heck out of the thing back in early July but for 2 months it has been on an imperialist rampage.
Where can I buy some Agent Orange? Fighting this thing becomes tiresome. It wants to take over the world.
If napalm is out of the question, I'd suggest finding a farmer neighbor who has access to the field grade round-up and 2,4 D.
a mixture of both might kill the stem if you cut it down the ground. And isolate the clippings. Make sure they are bagged up tight and tossed.
the store bought roundup is useless.
I made the mistake of planting trumpet vine next to a post on my deck. It had sent runners under the entire deck which I cannot access as it is too low to the ground. I have kept tarps on the deck for 5 years and I am still trying to get rid of it.
On your next vacation take a drive out west to one of the "real" ranching/farming states. They not only can give you the Round UP, they can sell you the strychnine you need for gophers, moles, etc. You know--the stuff that works! While your there would you see if they have any of that old style "Drano" the crystals that u sed to work. It came in a can. Pick a state that doesn't care much about water quality though or you won't be able to find that at all.
When I lived in Los Angeles' San Fernando Valley decades ago, the garden stores carried gopher bait, which consisted of strychnine-laced field corn with the kernels dyed in several unappetizing colors, I guess to keep the kids from munching it. I used a lot of it. California was a whole 'nother world back then. Much more like it's neighbors to the east.